You'd have to be careful of course. It's probably more than your job's worth to upset the establishment, so you ask around, you have a think and come up with a short list.
Here lies Jesus of Nazareth, "He was trouble". At least that what the elders thought. They were deeply disturbed by almost everything he did. The problem was that he threatened their position, he disrupted their power. Until he came along the people accepted their authority as the only authority when it came to religious questions and practice. But now here was this country preacher from Nazareth, teaching all sorts of new things, making all sorts of new claims, backing it all up with all sorts of miracles, and doing it with an authority they could never muster.
To the religious leaders, Jesus certainly was trouble.
Here lies Jesus of Nazareth, "An enigma". One of the problems we all seem to have with Jesus is trying to understand what he was really all about. He works miracles, but doesn't parade his ability like a side-show act or carnival performer. He doesn't line up the people he heals and delivers to act as character witnesses. In fact he goes the other way. Having healed them he simply sends them on their way. Having delivered them he says, "Go home". Having forgiven them he says, "Stop sinning". No big show, no big tent, just a simple, ordinary getting on with life, albeit a changed life.
Even in the last week of his life he performs only two miracles according to the Gospels: healing a severed ear in the garden did someone a favour but it didn't win him any friends; the withered fig tree made a point about empty religion, but it didn't draw a crowd. The things he said, and the things he did, the withdrawing from public view and the very public turning over of tables in the Temple. Turning water into wine at a wedding, yet drinking vinegar on the cross. Raising Lazarus from the dead, yet allowing himself to be crucified.
Truly, to some at least, Jesus was an enigma.
Here lies Jesus of Nazareth, "A Great Teacher". Most of the people would agree to that. They would walk miles across the countryside just to hear him speak. When he went into a synagogue they were often stunned into silence by his speaking. Was it because he was so eloquent or persuasive with his words? No. It was because of the authority with which they heard him speak. He actually sounded like he knew what he was talking about.
Of course the highly trained official teachers wouldn't like it. After all they were the ones who had spent years learning all the answers so that they didn't have to think and it certainly wasn't the job of the people to think for themselves. Relating to God was far too complicated a matter to leave to the common person to think about for themselves. They needed rules and regulations. The Law was no longer enough, they needed precedents and the wisdom of those who had dedicated their lives to teasing out the minute details. Some out-of-town, untrained carpenter was not their idea of authority.
But the people loved his stories, they were filled with things and people to whom they could relate. They saw the hollowness and emptiness of the religious system that sometimes was peddled in their direction. And Jesus, well he turned things on their heads, he seemed to be able to make sense of that which had confounded the theologians for centuries.
The problem is that he was far more than just a teacher. But maybe "Good Teacher" would have to do.
There is one other possible epitaph. It's simple and to the point and was said at the site of the tomb where Jesus had been placed after the execution on Friday. By the time these words are uttered it's Sunday and we've reached the "third day". The Sabbath is over and it's time to perform the proper burial rights for the one they called Rabbi. And so they set off, a small group of women intent on doing for their Lord what needed to be done. Confused? Probably. Sad? Very likely. Prepared for what they would find? I doubt it.
They talked about who might move the stone that had been placed across the entrance, only to discover it had already been moved. They came with spices and oils to anoint his body only to discover it wasn't there. Whatever you make of those events that first Easter morning, one thing is universally true. The tomb was empty.
Whether you believe that Jesus walked out having revived in the cool air, or whether you believe that someone came and took the body, or whether you believe that he was raised from the dead, the truth is the tomb was empty, the body was gone. It was at this time that the words most fitting as an inscription were said, "He is not here, he has risen."
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