Taking the TRX plunge

Having searched the internet for TRX offers and alternatives, I decided to make my own. This, I thought, would give me a feel for suspension training and whether the hype was true. So I bought some luggage straps (Halfords, around £20 a pair), two carabiners and a figure eight climbing thing (must have a proper name, together they were about another £15-20 I think from Decathalon).

I trimmed the luggage straps to a more useable length and used some plastic tubing to fashion the handles. Each strap went through the ring and the excess strap became the anchor point, using the carabiners to connect everything up. It worked rather well, and although a bit tricky to adjust was a good place to start.

The only issue, and I'm sure I could resolve it, was the overall adjustment to the length of the straps. It wasn't very much and that limited it's use.

So putting aside all good sense and practical thinking, I took the plunge and bought myself a TRX. Now I might have gone for the less expensive versions, but there's something about the original that is just appealing. Perhaps it's the the ease of adjusting the straps to equal lengths because of the small amount of play in them, perhaps it's just the TRX logo and the black and yellow combination!

Having unpacked it and checked everything was in order, I set out for the local park to try it out.

My anchor point was a basketball hoop-not the hoop but the upright. It was just the right sort of height for me at least, and I had no problem wrapping the securing webbing around a fixed point and attaching the TRX straps.

I chose to do a series of fairly simple exercises. No point falling over trying to do a handstand press up first time around. My chosen routine wasn't scientifically planned, but included some simple bicep curls, chest presses, flyes, rows, squats and a core exercise that was very entertaining to try! Once you're feet are in the stirrups you discover quite how strong, or weak, your core muscles actually are on this thing.

If you want a go-anywhere, gym-in-a-bag solution then you have to try TRX or something similar.

Functional discipleship

I bet someone else has used this phrases somewhere else before I have, but it's a term I'm beginning to think about using to describe a pattern of discipleship that prepares us to function within the setting of our everyday lives. I know that all discipleship should do this, but too often our programmes are actually geared to making us better at being followers of Christ in church rather than in the world. Or so it sometimes seems.

From an exercise point of view, we talk about functional fitness to describe exercise that in some way mimics daily tasks and helps us develop appropriate fitness for those tasks. When you go into a gym you might see people using free weights (barbells and dumbbells) or resistance machines to isolate particular muscles. But very few of our daily movements isolate muscles. More often than not they are compound movements involving groups of muscles. Having big biceps and well defined pectoral muscles might look good in the mirror, but it won't help you get out of your chair!

A second principle of exercise that might be helpful when thinking about discipleship is about the core. Our core provides the foundation for all pour movements. A strong core means efficient and smooth movements. A weak core leads to poor posture and inefficient movement that typically involves compensation by recruiting other muscles to help with tasks done by muscles that have grown weak.

So how would this apply to being a follower of Jesus Christ?

First of all we would need to think about what constitutes our core. What drives every movement of the disciple? Are they simply the core disciplines of prayer, bible reading, fellowship and witness, or are there more things that are core, or maybe fewer things or even just different things.

Secondly we need to think about what is needed to help us function properly as followers of Jesus partnering with him in his mission.

I haven't got a prescription for this as yet, maybe you have some thoughts. I guess the thing that floats around the back of my mind is this idea that maybe we don't necessarily need lots of theological teaching in the church in order to ensure we're picking the correct doctrines, we just need to figure out how to live for the gospel. After all, we will have an eternity to discover how wrong our theology is, there are thousands of people around us who don't have that option.

On becoming a PT and leaves of absence

As you all probably know, PT is an abbreviation for Personal Trainer. I mention that because I know that all too often we get used to using language specific to certain environments and cultures that doesn't translate easily for people outside that community. Hmmm. Remind you of any particular community like the church for example?

Anyway, I finessed my level 3 PT course yesterday and am emerging back into the normal world of not getting up at 5:30 and not spending my whole day in a gym. It's been an interesting experience to say the least.

Now just to be absolutely clear again, this is not a career change. I have not left the ministry as many seem to think. What I am doing is exploring pathways that will allow me to be self-supporting while serving the mission of God. If someone came along and offered to cover the costs of a basic stipend I wouldn't say no, but I think I'd do it on the understanding that I would continue to pursue my studies while seeking to learn how to be missional in my community. Not because I like to be awkward, but because I think there is a need to find new ways of expressing leadership without having to add more and more paid staff to an organisation. I do not believe that the mission of God is a business that needs to be managed. It is an adventure that needs to be explored.

Because I am no longer in pastoral charge of a church or in some other form of denominationally recognised ministry, I have to take a leave of absence. I understand this, but it rankles with me. For the last four weeks I've spent my day with a great bunch of people who wouldn't normally cross my path or me theirs. We've sat together, learnt together, exercised and stretched together. We've laughed and shared stories, measured each others body fat, and debated the use of supplements (generally speaking, don't waste you money, just buy better quality food!)

Throughout all that time I've tried as best I can to not be overzealous and preach but rather simply be there amongst them answering whatever questions someone has for me, and there have been a few. I feel more engaged in real ministry even though I feel totally inadequate for the task. If that's what leaving the ministry means, then I'm glad I've left, although of course I haven't!

Time to leave that one alone I think. I must write to the ministry department in the next week or so and share my thoughts with them. I'm sure they understand more than we credit them, but the no-man's land feeling doesn't help.

Back to PT-ing. I'll write another blog post about how learning about exercise has helped me reflect on discipleship. Perhaps Paul was onto a good illustration when he talked about athletes preparing themselves. Perhaps we need functional discipleship in the same way we need functional fitness!

Suspension Training

One of the guys in the PT course was telling me about suspension training with a thing called a TRX. I'd never heard of it before, so I looked it up and it certainly looks interesting! Mind you at the price of a kit (£150+) it ought to be exciting.

A search for an alternative threw up some possibilities. So far the Rip 60 looks good value, but I just found a UK alternative called Flexstrap which looks rather inviting.

Short of poping to Halfords for some luggage straps and the Ellis Brigham for a Caribiner or two, these look good value at £60. I shall have to put them on my wish list!

Evangeliguilt

These past few weeks have been interesting to say the least. The learning curve has been quite steep, and if it were not for my previous experience and study of anatomy, physiology and nutrition, I don't think I could have passed the exams. It's not that they were particularly difficult, just that the time I've spent travelling to and from the gym hasn't left me much time for home study.
So what must it be like for those folk in our churches who commute everyday and upon whose shoulder we place the burden of Bible study? I say burden not because it's a tiresome weight to carry, although I wouldn't be surprised to hear it described that way, but because of the pressure it applies. It's hard enough to to get through and ordinary day without some sense of guilt over something, let alone adding a sense of failure because we're not reading our
Bibles and interrogating the text on a daily basis.
It's made me wonder again about how we can make the Bible accessible and engaging and yet avoid the extremes of either bit-sizing it to fit a busy lifestyle or making it unmanageable. It's a tough challenge and maybe it's a challenge that reflects on the role of preaching too.
I'm sure I'm repeating myself when I say that I think preaching should be inspirational all of the time. There is a place for teaching, no doubt about that, but our preaching should inspire people to go out and solve problems, address issues and live differently rather than look for alterations and keywords in texts. Perhaps our goal if we preach on a Sunday morning ought to be to give everyone one thought to ponder through the week. Something they can carry with them to turn over in their minds and figure out how to apply in their lives.
After my current course finishes, which should be Tuesday if I pass everything, I hope to take a little time to look at the principles of personal training and see what they have to say to the concept of discipleship. There are some interesting principles and parallels to be explored. Maybe I need to write a programme for getting spiritually healthy and spiritual fit while I write programmes for physical health and fitness.
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There's not really a lot to reflect on this week. It's just been another week of getting up at 5:30 to go to the gym to learn more stuff. We did have a good day on Monday at the tennis club Jubilee party. Like churches, clubs rely upon a few enthusiasts to get things organised and clearly the enthusiasts had done a great job. Now we're not "in a church", as people like to point out to me (I'll moan about that in a minute or two!), we had the chance to not be at a church-based celebration. Probably the first time for 20 plus years that we've been able to do this. In some ways it was remarkably similar to a church event, and in others clearly not. Somewhere there has to be a balance between organising a church-based event and inventing people to that, and on the other hand encouraging folk to attend non-church events where they can interact with friends and fellow human beings. Perhaps if we did more of the latter we'd realise that the missing are not as unhappy as we think they should be.

The PT course is now underway. The downside of doing a Personal Trainer course is that you think you know about exercise! I'm supposed to be a professional, but I feel like an amateur in comparison to some. As I've said before, I'm not a big fan of the gym. It's great to get on the treadmill and walk and run, and to pick up a few weights and put some of those hidden muscles to work, but overall the gym is not an exciting environment for me. Hopefully I'll be able to do some creative, non-gym based things in the community for people who don't want to be athletes but would like to not get out of breath walking to the shops!

Designing exercise programmes is quite a complicated job. There are lots of things to take into consideration. Repeating the same routine over and over again is not only monotonous bordering on boring, but in the end once you've adapted to the routine you won't see any changes because your body won't be asked to do more. So you need to keep upping the intensity or frequency or type or time spent exercising. Then there's this thing I've been reading about called periodisation with micro cycles, mesocycles and macrocylces. It might as well have a unicycle in for brain to get on and ride around in a state of confusion!

I have 7 more days to get my head around it all and then the rest of my life to build the experience to do it as well as I can. Maybe I'll enlist the help of few friends to practice on. At least if they injure themselves I can offer remedial massage!

Before I go, let me point you to a short post by Simon Jones. Simon and I were at college together and he often writes thougthful stuff on his blog. His most recent post raises a pertinent point about what we focus upon as churches.

Still on the planet!

Time certainly flies around here, and you don't even need to be having fun for it to happen! For the last two weeks Ive been getting up at 5:30, catching the 6:58 train and spending all day in the gym. Monday to Friday commuting just like I remember it. Ah, the joy!! The reason for all this resides in my brilliant idea to add a personal trainer qualification to my portfolio. So far I've passed the gym instructors part of the course and the next two weeks is the PT bit. To be honest, I'm not looking forward to it. I'm not the "in your face" sort of person that seems to be the industry standard for PT's. Ah well, as long as I get through the course I can then stamp my own personality of the world of personal training.

The point of all this is not to become some sort of gym-bore. I'd like to work with people where they are, in the park etc., and not be stuck in the gym environment surrounded by people lifting weights that are too heavy for them and the thing they are trying to do. Hopefully the PT qualification will integrate nicely with the sports massage and will open a few doors to a few clients so I can earn some money. But I also hope that it will help me get to know the community a little better. I have these idealised pictures of me and a small group of people getting fitter as we have fun in the local park and walking around the village. I told you it was rather idealised.

Away from the rigours of PT qualification, I've learnt a lot just by travelling daily on the train and tube. I've remembered just how draining it can be and how little you want to do when you get home at the end of a long day. I've realised again how important it is for those of us in church leadership (I may not be in  a church, but I don't see myself as having left church leadership just yet) to remember that and not prioritise church over family or even friendship. It's a tough balance to hold, but I think I'd rather sway towards the priority of family and friends than church meetings and even dare one say Bible studies. For me, I'd rather get to heaven having known a lot of people, sought to share my faith with them, sought to help them reconnect with the God who misses them, rather than be able to answer obscure questions about abstruse passages of the Bible. I'm not sure I'm going to get tested on my theology on that great and final day.

In the end this al comes down to one simple truth. We all have a fixed amount of time in any given day or week or month. How we use that time is largely up to us. Yes we have the demands of our jobs if we are fortunate to be in employment. and work is where we spend most of our waking time. If we are part of a family, this too takes up a fair amount of our time. The rest is up for grabs. This is Oldenburg's Third Place, and this is where the church must find it's place. If it can't find it's place here, then it will have to take time and resources away from the other two, and if it absorbs all of the third place time, then it will exclude connecting with those who are missing from the kingdom.

Working out the balance is the challenge we face. Perhaps I can figure that out on the train tomorrow morning between reviewing all the muscle origins, insertions and actions I'm trying to learn!

A Busy Week

In a moment of sheer madness I decided that adding a Personal Trainer qualification to my Sports Massage would be a good idea and might open a door to some potential income while I continue my trying as a therapist. So I signed up for a 4-week intensive course which began this week.

At the time of signing up I didn't realise how much online reading there was going to be. I knew there was some, but it turns out to be more than I imagined. So now I'm trying to learn Pt and Sports Massage and my brain hurts. It hurts a lot.

What this leaves me with is the thought that if only I'd behaved myself and been a a good little minister, then none of this would have happened. I could have continued to think that one day I might do something in the area of sports and bodywork and/or fitness, but never actually needing to apply myself to it. Dreams are easy things with which to live as long as you don't try to realise them.

I, of course, am mad. Completely and utterly mad. No one in their right mind would toss everything in the air at 54 and start over. At 54 you should be planning how you're going to spend your retirement.

So here I sit, after a long and draining week of learning to be a gym instructor (you have to do that first) and then a full day doing MET (that's a massage thing) and I feel like giving it all up as my brain slowly melts as I try and remember my ischial tuberosity from my anterior, inferior iliac spine.

Madness. Sheer madness.

Change-city, an uncomfortable place to visit

I was at a conference a long time ago in the US and the speaker kept referring to Scare-city during his talk. I thought this was some sort of colloquialism that all the Americans understood and I would eventually discover a context as I listened that would make it all clear. Well it did become clear when I realised that he was talking about scarcity not some mythical place called Scare City. The joy of a common language!

On the other hand, Change City is no error in wither pronunciation or hearing, but the place in which I seem to have tank up residence these last few months, and it's far from a comfortable residency I can tell you. Change is always hard, even good change. On Monday I start the intensive four-week part of a personal trainer's qualification. In my crazy, idea overloaded mind, it made good sense a month or so ago. Personal training seemed to fit nicely alongside the massage course and the nutritional stuff. Now I wonder if I've made an error of judgment and taken on too much. Why didn't I just get a job stacking shelves at Tesco or working nights at a hotel. Well because there weren't any for one thing. Add to that the sense of being unemployable, and you get the picture. It's a painful place to be.

Of course, in a year's time when I'm looking for premises for my new clinic and wondering how I'm going to fit all these new clients into my already busy schedule it will all be different. But that's a dream, not even a vision, at the moment and there is no promise of reality.

Somehow I have to find a way of living with the sense of failure and the fear of future failure that surround me in this oddly named city in which I've taken up residence. I need to get to know the neighbours. The one thing all the inhabitants of change have in common is the insecurity of what bough them here. Some are fearless in their pursuit of a new outcome, others are more tentative, hurt by their past and paralysed by their present, they can't see very far into the future. But you can't settle down in a place of change, you can only adjust to the pace of change. Change will go on around you, whether you want it to or not.

I want the change. I want to explore this confused and incomplete idea that church can be more than just a gathering of equally disappointed people who think the world is a dangerous place and needs to adapt to us before we adapt to it. But I'm not a good adapter.

Well it's time to stop rambling and at the very least help this bee that can't adapt to glass and is stuck in our new dining room tiring itself out in a win attempt to fly through the invisible barrier that confronts it.

Makes me wonder what my invisible barrier is. The existence of which would at least explain the headache!

It's not as bad you think it is!

On the way home last night I caught a little bit of a Radio Four programme about society. In a nutshell the discussion centred around the theme that society is getting worse and we're destined to destruction. There were arguments for, and there were arguments against. 

What was interesting was that there was also some discussion about how we are programmed to pay attention to negative stimuli. For example, if you're wandering around the African pain and someone shouts, "Lion!" you take notice. If they said, "It's been four days and I haven't seen a lion," you'll probably ignore that and go about your foraging.

Setting aside arguments about evolution, I think this has profound implications for being good news people. If we too are predisposed to hear the negative above the positive, then we will look at the world around us and conclude that it's getting worse, but we'll take another step. We will add a layer of Biblical interpretation to that perspective and conclude that this is the way it will be and there' little to be done about it expect wait for the inevitable day of judgement.

But even that is not all we do. We assume that everyone else sees the same inevitable decline all them and has a similar sense of despair. We offer hope against this interpretive background, but what if it's not true? What if things are actually better than they once were? What shape our hope then? 

Now I'm fully aware of what the Bible says about the future and how we can understand that. I know that judgement is coming, but our anecdotal evidence for a worsening society and a theology predicated upon that may not hold up to inspection. 

Here's another thought. John Kramp in his book Out of their faces and into their shoes makes an interesting point when he suggests that the so-called lost (I prefer Jim Henderson's "missing" to lost) are in fact quite happy. In other words, people who do not share our faith position are not as miserable as we think they should be!

Because we are predisposed to react to the negative more than the positive, we more easily reinterpret things within that negative context. We may not mean to do it, but do it we do. 

So here's my question: How would our mission look if we took a more positive view of the people around us? If we all, and I mean all, carry the image of God, then how do we celebrate that in the people we meet? 

Maybe, after the celebration, we'll find a way of pointing them to a fuller expression of that image in Christ, rather than offer him as a get out jail free card.

First prayer adventure

Yesterday, Sunday, Anne and I ventured out into our new community to walk around and to pray a little. We're going to take as much time as it takes to figure out what to do next before we begin anything church-like. We have no fixed model to apply and no fixed agenda to follow. We do have a vision, but aren't making plans beyond taking a few simple steps.

The first thing we are doing is to settle down into life in the new house and new community. We'll try to get to know the neighbours and seek out people of peace with whom we can build relationships. How do we do this? We have no idea! All we know is that we are not looking for a place to hold a Sunday morning worship event.

There's already a sense of home about the place. Even the cats seem remarkably settled to the new house. Once the carpets are down and the boxes unpacked, it will feel so much different.

Without all the trapping of legacy church life, it's quite a challenge to think about how you go about being the presence of Christ in a community. To be honest, the traditional pattern of church probably gives us a false sense of security about our profile in a place. Asking yourself what church might look like for this community is probably a good place to start, but so easily confused with what we think from an insiders perspective.

Our dream, our vision, is to see a group of people, gathered in community, doing life and faith together, engaged in the mission of God. It really is that simple. How hard can it be?!

Fixed heating

I'm tempted to claim that I fixed the heating, but I didn't do anything other than poke around in the wiring centre to see what was going on. Having had no pump running and no apparent reason for said lack of action, I left the programmer running and yesterday morning I suddenly realised I could hear the pump running! We've had a few noises in the system this boring, but it seems to be firing up and working after a fashion.

Curtains are up in the bedroom, so we can sleep in the dark now! My next job is to get on with some studying for my courses, but practically speaking, I need to sort out a damaged stair riser and start planning how to level the floor in the kitchen diner. Plywood and self-levelling compound are the order of the day. Getting the cooker out of its rather tight gap will be a challenge. If I had the time and inclination, I'd adjust the gap, but it's only a matter of 2 millimetres and I don''t think it's quite worth the effort.

After that, it's tiling and retouching the paintwork that got damaged during the moving process. Sad to say we have yet to encounter a removal company that actually take as much care of our possessions as they say they will. Maybe we just get assigned to the fact that things will get damaged, but it's frustrating to not be told and to discover it for your self. Does an apology really cost that much?

As if there were't enough jobs to do!

The chaos of moving is slowly giving way to the chaos of settling in. We're waiting to hear form the capet company about when they are coming to door the floor coverings, so we're not unpacking too many boxes at the moment. We have also begun to think abut a plan for moving stuff around while they fit the carpets and vinyls too! Yes, it would have been easier to have the carpets fitted before we moved in, but that wasn't possible.

We spent yesterday boring hauling boxes into the loft. literally hauling them. I rigged up a hoist with some rope a over a beam and lifted the boxes while Anne was in the loft on the receiving end. She did a grand job with some heavy boxes.

Today the builders finished, so we can now set about the jobs that are down to me to do. I ned to level the kitchen floor before the vinyl arrives and fix a damaged stair riser when I find my wood glue (or buy some more!)

I think the next photo's will be of completed jobs and the carpets down.

And the unwanted job? Well that's the heating system. I got it working at the weekend, but when I put it on the other day it didn't work. I think I've traced the fault to the 3-way value, which looks unpromising for a quick fix. Some valves have replacement heads, but this one looks like a whole value job, which in turn might  means raining the whole system down. Might be a job for a plumber, I'll see how I feel.

Moving Day

Everything is in a box somewhere, and if it's not in a box yet, it will be in the next few hours! It's just before 6:00am and moving day has finally arrived. In 32 years of being married, this will be our 9th move, and for me it will be number 13 overall if you don't count university, 15 if you do! That's an average of just less than 4 years between moves.

I don't like moving!

This time I hope we will be settled for a reasonable length of time, but how long is that? 4, 5 10 years? Who knows! The problem with moving is all the hassle of finding a new home and organising everything. It's quite exciting to go and explore a new place, but the pain of packing up and unpacking can far outweigh the excitement of what's new.

So, in a few hours we will be in our new, not quite finished home a few miles away. Not quite the cross-country move that has been the feature of our lives as we've criss-crossed the Eastern half of Southern and Middle England over these past 32 years. There's still much to do at the house, but it's certainly liveable and the builders should be finished by the end of the week, maybe next week.

Time now for a shower and breakfast, then it's dismantle the book case and wardrobes, take down the network and internet and get over to the new house to clean and prepare for the arrival of the furniture later this afternoon.

How long does a promise take?

For example, there was God’s promise to Abraham. Since there was no one greater to swear by, God took an oath in his own name, saying: “I will certainly bless you, and I will multiply your descendants beyond number.” Then Abraham waited patiently, and he received what God had promised.

Now when people take an oath, they call on someone greater than themselves to hold them to it. And without any question that oath is binding. God also bound himself with an oath, so that those who received the promise could be perfectly sure that he would never change his mind. So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. Jesus has already gone in there for us. He has become our eternal High Priest in the order of Melchizedek.

Heb. 6:13-20

Read this passage yesterday. In the previous section, there was the great promise from God that he does not forget what I have done. It seems that this promise is reaffirmed as God speaks about blessing Abraham. Now I know that these are the words of the writer of the letter, and not God speaking directly and personally. On the other hand, God uses his word, the Bible, to speak directly, so I have no issue with reflecting upon the personal application of these words.

But the key is not the promise of God so much as the patience of Abraham. I know the story, I know how impatient Abraham actually was at the time. It must have been quite an internal struggle.

"Lord, how long do I have to be patient?" I ask this question a lot. Abraham waited a lifetime to see the ultimate expression of God's promise fulfilled. Am I willing to wait that long?



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Just in time

There are moments when a simple act or word of encouragement comes at just the right time. None more so than when God speaks through the Bible as one reads through it. Here was my "just in time" moment from yesterday:

God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. (Heb. 6:10)

Now you may not think it means too much, but to me it was a very important moment, and one I would have missed had I not slowed down long enough to read or been rushed into the busyness of the day to have though I could always read it later.

It's not so much the daily discipline of reading that's key, at least not for me, but the systematic reading that's important. I may spend several days pondering this verse, I may read something new. If there's one thing I've learned over the last 30+ years, it's that we don't really dwell in God's word as much as we ought. We move on to today's note, driven by some sort of evangelical legalism designed to prove we are spiritual. In truth, all it actually does is demonstrate how shallow our spirituality has become as we strive to add another star to our loyalty badge.

And I'm no different. My spiritual life is shallow too. I take my encouragement where I can find it.

I'm glad that today I can remind myself that God does not forget what I've spent my life doing for the last 20 years and more, even if it's been less than effective for some.

Lazy or busy?

Do you sometimes find it hard to distinguish busyness from laziness? No. Well that's good. But I'm not sure I can be so certain. Let me explain.

Most of us experience the situation where the job we have to do expands to fit the time we have available. I'm a deadline sort of person and it takes enormous effort to discipline myself to do things before the deadline looms. The thing that helps me is knowing how inefficient working to a deadline can be. The pressure focuses the mind, but you make a lot of mistakes that you would normally catch if you had the time to review and rewrite what you've produced. My solution is usually to set an earlier dealing and even a series of mini-deadlines. To complete a course I was once doing, I set up deadlines for assignments in my diary that went from blue to green to red as they went from coming up to imminent to missed. The objective was to complete the assignment before it went red and if I managed it before it went green then I got a day off!

How does this help distinguish between being lazy and being busy? Well, when you work from home with only yourself to check your output, it's easy to assume either extreme is the case. Because there is always something to do, you think you are busy, but in fact you might just be avoiding things and lacking the discipline and motivation to organise yourself properly. Believe I know how that feels.

On the other hand, it's so easy to presume that you are being lazy because you aren't getting everything done, when the truth is that you simply have too many things to do and you're not focussing on anything for any length of time.

In my experience both of these things looks remarkably the same.

In the end I can't seem to get away from the need to practice good habits of self-disciple and honest reflection without self-recriminations. Learning to apologise to yourself and then getting on with what needs to be done is just part of the process.

Over the years I've had to learn how to work with my internal wiring without allowing it to become an excuse for failing to make changes that will help me achieve more. Asking good personal questions is important too. For example, ask yourself how you can do it more efficiently rather than why you are no good at being organised enough in the first place.

Now, talking of self-disciple and getting things done, I'm off to play tennis for a while and then it's back to sort out some paperwork that I've been avoiding, and do some coursework reading and preparation for the weekend. That and decorate the new house, refit the radiators, commission the heating system, choose floor coverings, go to the tip, get Anne's birthday present.....

A Kitchen Begins to Take Shape

The plastering is complete and is drying out slowly. It's really frustrating not being able to paint, but the slower the better when it comes to drying out plaster. But the good news is that the units have arrived and some have been set in place.

It actually is beginning to look like a kitchen now, and the lights are nice too.

I busied myself giving the bathroom another coat of paint on the walls and ceiling. The shower is in, but not wired up.

We went for an electric shower because having a mixer tap shower over the bath would have required raising the height of the tank in the loft. A job too far when an electric shower will do the job nicely and without the need to fire up the immersion heater or the boiler.

Jobs left to do in the bathroom include the floor, the skirting-board, the light, the woodwork, the bath panel, and sealing around the bath, washbasin and anywhere else that needs a squirt of silicone!

So it can't be declared the one room finished yet.

I also put a coat of paint on the ceiling in the study. Mixed some PVA into the paint to get it to stick to the new plaster. Quicker than mixing it with water, applying it with a brush and getting it all down my sleeve while doing it.

I also wasted some time painting a wall that I forgot I was going to paper. Maybe one day someone will buy the house, strip the paper and wonder why only half of it is painted.

I'll probably do some more painting, or maybe even get some wallpaper up tomorrow, but I have to go off in the afternoon for something, so it will probably be a morning and some part of the evening. Friday is a busy day with two funerals to do and then the weekend is a college weekend, so it looks like next week will be when more gets done.

Questions we should ask, and question we maybe shouldn't ask

My friend Rich Shorter, a church planter (everyone needs a label :)) has got a seat in the audience for an upcoming mayoral edition of Question Time. He has had to prepare a question or two, and he asked for help via Facebook.

As a Christian leader, involved in a local community, this is the question Rich has chosen to ask:

"Several of the candidates accept responsibility for the Olympics, who wants to accept responsibility for changing the fact 1 of 4 children live in poverty in London?"

This is a great question, and it's the kind of question christians ought to be asking their elected, and for matter any unelected, representatives. Too often our "Christian" concerns focus on the hard time we are having. We ask, "Why can't a Christian wear a cross or a fish badge?" rather than, "What's happening about justice for the poor and the marginalised?"

While we continue to ask self-centred questions, we will remain rooted in a selfish, dare one say middle-class, expression of the gospel. An expression that I'm not sure Jesus would recognise as authentic. It's not that some of the questions we have aren't valid, it's more that they might just not be the most important questions to ask.

Read Rich's blog post to hear his reasons for wanting to ask his question, and then think about the questions you might ask and why you might ask them.

And, if you want to get yourself thinking about the relationship of the gospel to the big questions, try reading Everything Must Change or Irresistible Revolution.

Style in the bathroom!

How's this for a stylish towel rail in our new bathroom!

The tiling is done and grouted, just one repair needed around the shower. Sadly a tile has been damaged as a result of the shower going in, but that's repairable and will hardly be noticeable when it's done.

We've started painting and the toilet and washbasin have been fitted, so once I rehang the door and the electrics have been done, the bathroom will just need the floor covering done.

One room almost finished, eight more to go!!

The good news is that the kitchen has arrived, the new radiators are on the walls and the plumber is coming back today to work on those things.

The new plaster is drying out nice and slowly, although that's a bit frustrating because we want to get painting, but it simply won't stick to wet plaster. Some areas are dry, so we can set to work on some of the ceilings. The main bedroom is ready to be lined and painted, as is the spare room when I think about it. The landing, stairs and hall need sanding down, lining and then painting.

Plenty for me to get on with over the next couple of weeks before we move.

House Update

Well we're moving along with the house, although it doesn't necessarily look like it! There's still some plastering to be done, but the kitchen is more or less plastered out and drying slowly!

The kitchen is being delivered next Wednesday, so by the end of the week it should look quite a lot different. It might not get tiled before we move in, but it should be painted at the very least.

The plumber is coming on Monday to fit the rest of the bathroom, so I need to get the tiles done. I've made a start, and more is done than in the picture. The goal is to finish it tomorrow.

The first fix for the electrics is all done and some of the second fix is in. The consumer unit is quite large! I think we have something like 13 circuits in total.

As you can see it looks a bit like spaghetti at the moment but again I think we should be well on the way by the end of next week.

The study is ready for painting just as soon as the plaster dries out. we've got the paint and brushes at the ready!

So, all in all I think we can say that we are definitely getting there. I've run the coax into one corner of the bedroom and want to run a second one to the other side so that we can chose which way round the bed goes and decide if we want the small TV in there or not.

I also need to chase some boxes into the walls in various rooms for the data network and TV distribution system.

What does your community want from you?

Here is another offering from the Verge Network. This time it's Michael Frost on the need to listen to our communities. I was struck personally by the overall challenge of what Michael was saying, but one thing stood out when he said something along the lives of, "what we don't need are more churches where the people in them don;t belong in the community."

It is through a process of actively listening to and engaging with the people of the community we are seeking to reach that we are at least on the road to avoiding the trap of transplanting church models. We're back to the issue of dwelling among, working with, and listen to, rather than telling people what they need.

The original video was posted here.

Wilderness and the Church Experience

Belonging to a Christian community is not about just stamping your time card each week and relieving your Christian guilt. In fact, the obligation of attending church is an empty mirage of Christianity. Attending church weekly is not a way of avoiding sin in and of itself.

This caught my attention in a very helpful and readable reflection on being in and out of church.  The post is far from negative, just in case that was what you were reading into the quote.

I know that Anne and I are about to wander into the wilderness. Some might say deeper into the wilderness. With the busyness of my training and to be honest a lack of desire to be in church anyway, I've found myself outside the typical Christian community. Maintaining a faithful walk with God in such a situation is not easy. And yet sometimes church is the very thing that gets in the way of it too! The wilderness can be a great place to learn new things and remember old truths.

Perhaps we won't be in the wilderness long, or even at all. Being prepared for it, and at the same remembering what is at stake and why the church matters and what community could be will be important factors in sustaining ourselves.

Knowing you're on mission

There's always going to be an ongoing conversation about the mission/missional strategy of the local church. In some ways, if we're not having that conversation, then we're not engaging in critical thinking about what it means to be the people of God engaged with God in the fulfilment of his mission. And yet, at the same time, too much talk can mean too little action.

So how do we know when we are on or in mission? What might some of the signs be? Well, Jeff Vanderstelt gives an interesting definition in this short video clip of a longer talk. His basic point can probably be summed up in terms of living life among and with the people we are trying to reach.

I still maintain that too much of our mission activity is predicated upon the idea that people need to come to where we are in order to come to faith. In simple terms, they need to discover the church before they discover Jesus because the church is the only valid route to do this. Now we might not articulate in that way, but I think if we stop and think about, that is precisely what we've tended towards for many years. We hold evangelistic events and invite people we hardly know.

Now I guess that if the church really was the people living out the gospel and not the programmes and buildings and events, then it might just work more effectively than it has done. It certainly has worked in some circumstances, but I fear that there are many for whom it hasn't worked or for whom it may never work that way. Our imagination has to shift away from populating our programmes and towards something altogether more kingdom focussed.

I wish I could see the end from the beginning, but I can't. All I know is that it is time for the church to leave the building and find ways of taking the gospel into the heart of the communities where missing people dwell, and to invest the time and energy to dwell there with them as gospel people. In the world but not of the world as Jesus once said.

Welcome Bogdan!

After many day of journeying to UK from Yakov's workshop in Meerkovo, Bogdan, a handsome officials replica villager toy is arriving on my doorstep. It is taking long time to get here because Postkat have worse sense of direction than penguin in Sahara, but he is finally making it to our warm home here in UK.

Royal Mail peoples made final delivery safely.

Thanks go to Captain Borislav who had to navigate mongoose-pirate infested waters to get to England on his fine ship the Meer-maid.

The Fear of not Being Heard!

Just a quick meandering thought keep passing through my brain. We seem to be the best connected society in history, what with mobile devices, high speed internet and social media at every turn, and yet we are apparently the most lonely, superficial and fragile generation too. Or so it appears.

You see, the thing I've noticed is the increasing number of people who post queries on their social networks asking if anyone is reading what they write. Retweet this or repost this or do something just to let me know that I still exist in your world. We crave attention and yet at the same abhor contact! Are we so insecure that need constant affirmation that we matter to other people in order to know that we matter at all?

I'm just as bad, before you start thinking this is about you. (I do hope that doesn't damage your self-esteem by the way!) I check the stats for visits to my blog and wonder if anyone reads it because there are so few comments. But then again, I don't write to be read, I write to write. I write to process stuff that  lurks in the recesses of my mind. Sometimes that resonates enough with someone else that they decide to interact with me. Great.

I like social media because it gives me a snap shot of what is going on in the world of others and the world at large beyond my door. Sometimes it sparks a thought-trail or an investigation. Sometimes it provoked a comment, but most of the time it's just nice to see the life is being lived in a wonderfully diverse way by lots of people I know, once knew, still know and maybe one day will get to know.

So please, don't retweet, repost, comment or interact unless you want to. I'm quite happy dropping my thoughts and ideas and information into the social ocean for anyone to pick up and explore. Or, in fact none of that matter!

And by the way, that means that just because I don't comment, post or otherwise communicate with you, that doesn't mean I don't read your news, blog, Facebook status, Twitter updates, Christmas newsletter or emails!

Freedom of Speech?

It's been an interesting week for many reasons, but i=one thing that I've been musing over is the rejected bus ad campaign. I was in London on Saturday for my course and saw the Stonewall ad on the side of one London Bus. If you don't what this is all about, the ad simply says something like: Some people are gay, Get over it!


There was an almost to be expected "Christian" response that wanted to run a counter campaign that was deemed unacceptable by the Mayor's office. The rejection of these ads precipitated another volley of comments about the rough deal Christians get in the UK, how we are marginalised and persecuted for our faith. Of course the other way to look at is to understand it as a rejection of narrow-minded and insensitive drive to promote our perspective over and against any competing philosophy!

Here's the struggle I feel. The proposed ads were, in my opinion, ill thought out and unhelpful. Maybe well intentioned, an attempt to bring a message of hope to those who find themselves struggling with issues of sexual identity and faith. But they didn't look like they would do, so I'm quite relieved that they have been rejected.

We need to read our advertising through the eyes of those who do not agree with us if we are going to find effective ways of communicating the grace of God rather than appearing only to have a message of condemnation and judgement. I'm not for one minute suggesting that either of these things were the goal of the ad campaign, but that's how they have been interpreted and we should learn from that.

In the end this is not an issue of freedom of speech. It is an issue of pastoral care and sensitivity, of finding ways to express grace and hope as our core message. Let me be very clear about one thing a least: I believe that it is sin (to use a theological word!) that separates us from God and not our sexual orientation or anything else. What we do with that orientation is another matter. King David expressed his heterosexuality inappropriately with Bathsheba and it was costly. He was not the only one.

Maybe, as Christian, we do need to get over the "gay debate and get on with helping people find God and learning to work out how to live in a way that honours him. Perhaps if we talked more about the power of grace to enable us to live within the limitations of a fallen world rather than as a prescription for normality we might just make some headway in Go'd grand mission to reconnect the missing.

Another day, another course!

I really don't know where all this retraining will ultimately lead in terms of work and ministry, but I'm trying to develop a fairly wide portfolio approach to it all. Whether I'll achieve it all, I don't know, but the plan is simple: Do something useful with my life!

Now I'm not suggesting that ministry was anything less than useful, and as I keep saying I'm not done with ministry as far as I know. That of course, is in God's hands not mine. I've never assumed that it has ever been mine to take up and lay down as I please. Heb.7:17 has always been a significant verse for me:


For it is declared:
   “You are a priest forever, 
   in the order of Melchizedek.”

Now I know the context, but at a time when I was asking many questions about ministry this came home to me in my daily reading. God spoke quite deeply and profoundly into my life that day as I realised that it was not about how I felt as much as it was about his call. The passage goes on the reinforce this when it says that God has made up his mind and that's the end of it!

So, the point is this, just because things have been painful and difficult these last two years doesn't in any change the core of my sense of call. But it's God's call on my life not my own self-determination. Then again, I'm not some sort of automaton that responds passively to a word of command. I am involved in the daily working out of the impact of this call on how I do what I do when I do it.

I believe that changing direction, training to become a Sports and Remedial Massage Therapist and Nutritional Advisor is part of that process. That's why I've also signed up to do a certificate in Personal Training. Hopefully it will create an income for me, but hopefully it will be an integral part of the shape of my ministry and life.

Here's the thing. you don't have to be in "full-time" ministry to be called by God. In fact, sometimes it gets in the way of working out the adventure of being called. You get scared about leaving the security of knowing what you're supposed to be doing and losing your identity and maybe even your authority (not something I've ever really had to be honest). Too many leaders are afraid that if the delegate authority they will lose identity and value. I think that keeps the church from growing and becoming something other than an institution.

Here's a thought: If churches can't work without full-time staff, are they churches at all? It will always be a privilege to serve as a minister, but there is sometimes a hidden cost to the health of the church when we do.

And all I was going to blog about was signing up to become a personal trainer. Ah well, there will always be a vision pushing its way to the surface somewhere.

Look what we've done with the place!

So, we've had the keys for a week and we've made a few changes! We thought we'd go for the rustic, minimalist look in the kitchen!

The rather odd shaped thing leaning against the wall was hidden behind a false wall. It looks like and old flue of some sort to me.

The ceiling was covered in fibreboard tiles, stapled to the old lathe and plaster work. So that's all come down ready for a new ceiling with down-lights.

In the lounge we've removed an old chimney and"feature" fireplace. We know someone loved it, but it wasn't our taste.

The opening just visible in the left of the lecture is going to be made bigger to give us a feeling of space throughout the downstairs.


The tricky thing in the lounge is that the ceiling is very good, apart from the big hole we've made! It would be nice to match the paper that's been put on it, but we're not sure we can.

Moving upstairs, we have the room that will be the study. That was an old built0in cupboard in the left corner, but it will probably be where the desk will go. There will be a light above so you're not sitting in the dark.

We've discovered that most rooms have at least two layers of wallpaper on them. This one had a rather fetching 1960's or 1950's cowboy theme under the top layer. Perhaps it was Maverick wallpaper for those who remember the original TV series.  Whatever it was, it was well stuck down and looked washable, which made it very hard to remove.

The main bedroom now features easy access to the lounge. All we need to fit is a bat-pole and we're all set for fast access to breakfast.

THe last few days has been all about stripping wallpaper. Only one room left to do a few places to tidy up. Not sure what the builders plans are for this week. The electrician in doing the first fix, and there's quite a lot of plastering to do once they get started.

More pictures as we progress!

Evangelism without the red pen!

Being a student again I've noticed how little I like being told I'm doing something wrong! It's not that I think I'm doing things right all the timer, far from it. I just don't like to be corrected from a perspective that leaves me feeling inadequate. Much better, it seems to me, is to be encouraged to find a better way of doing what you're currently doing somewhat ineffectively or inefficiently.

It's as if the right versus wrong approach is a red pen way of teaching. Ticks are good, crosses are bad, therefor strive for more ticks. The only problem is that ticks don't necessarily help you improve they just focus your attention on the colour of the mark!

This gets me thinking about evangelism and something that passed across my eyes while reading something earlier today. Put simply, evangelism ought to be more about connecting people than about correcting people. So much of the evangelism training that we do is predicated on the principle of correcting the flawed theology of those whom we encounter. Okay, so their theology is flawed, but does it need correcting or does it need connecting? Does it need to changed by revolution or by evolution? Perhaps the reason things like Alpha work is because it doesn't seek to correct flawed thinking about God, rather it encourages the development of one's thinking about God. It's a series of step changes rather than a quantum shift.

We might argue that the final step of faith is a quantum shift for everyone given the darkness to light transformation that takes place, but how we get to that step, well maybe that is better explored through connections than through corrections.

How this changes the way we do evangelism if self-evident inasmuch as we no longer need to be either ultra-agressive or ultra-defenisive. We can simply be who we are and look for opportunities to connect with people and, in turn, to seek to help them connect with the God who misses them most. We do this through conversations, through listening to their story, not just of their life but of the bigger meta-narrative of life by which they interpret the world around them. Rather than jumping in to correct the flawed character of their point of view, we look for ways to connect their story to the Biblical story that unfolds God's love and compassion towards us.

I've done a few funerals recently, which usually means reflecting on Psalm 23 a lot. This last week the theme I chose to explore through those reflections was the image of God. David could have chosen from a whole range of images. He could have gone for warrior, or mighty king or judge. But instead of those he chooses shepherd. If you grew up with a view of God as a judgemental old man sitting on a cloud and just waiting to cast a thunderbolt in your direction, then how does seeing God as a shepherd change that view?

I could simply offer you a corrective to your flawed image of God. On the other hand I could invite you to explore an alternative. I could offer you a connection rather than a correction.

Excuse my cynicism but...

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday about the trend towards celebrity in the church and lo and behold I read today of the 60 most influential Christians according to a list complied by Premier radio on account of the Queens Diamond Jubilee. Cringing at the thought of the implications of such a list in our celebrity-conscious culture, I nervously followed the link to the article about the list.

Here's the list, but not in any order other the way I copied and pasted them from the article, which in itself was not an attempt to rank them in any way (and neither I think is the list anyway). To be on the list the person has to have lived within the last 60 years and in the Commonwealth, just in case you are intending to write to Premier and ask why Jesus isn't on it!

Steve Chalke; Mary Whitehouse; The Lord Pakenham, aka Francis Pakenham, 7th Earl of Longford; Dame Shirley Williams; Baroness Margaret Thatcher; Tony Blair; Ian Paisley; Sir John William Laing; Rupert Murdoch; Lesslie Newbigin; Gordon J. Wenham; NT Wright; John A. T. Robinson; Eric Mascall; Charles H. Dodd; Sir John Houghton; John Polkinghorne; Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill; Nelson Mandela; Bishop Festo Kivengere; Usain Bolt; Graham Kendrick; Sir Cliff Richard; Sir John Tavener; Dorothy Sayers; J.R.R. Tolkien; Dame Judi Dench; J K Rowling; Bono; Clifford Longley; Malcolm Muggeridge; Graham Greene; Rt. Hon Lord John Reith; J. Arthur Rank; General Sir Richard Dannatt; Harry Secombe; Ronald Stuart Thomas; Leonard Cheshire; Isabel Carter; Rt Revd and Rt Hon Dr Richard Chartres; Peter & Miranda Harris; Basil Hume; George Hoffman; John Bertram Phillips; Frederick Fyvie Bruce; Donald Soper; Dr. Rowan Williams; Trevor Huddleston; Archbishop Desmond Tutu; Revd Nicholas Gumbel; Clive Staples Lewis; David Martyn Lloyd-Jones; Janani Jakaliya Luwum; Rev John Robert Walmsley Stott ; Jackie Pullinger; General Eva Burrows; Gladys Aylward; Andrew White; The Rev'd Kathleen Margaret Richardson; Mother Teresa.

Thankfully this is not a list of those who are well-known Christian speakers or activists. And it has some interesting names on it too. As evangelicals we are often quick to pass judgement on the status of anyone who believes things that fall outside our definition of orthodoxy, but even the most generously minded among us might find some of the names surprising. Who would have thought that we'd see JK Rowling on a list of influential Christians given her literary output and the divide debates it sparked in churches across the country! And Rupert Murdoch too.

So there it is. A list of people who may or may not be familiar to you or I, but who somehow have made it to this very 21st century process of making a list of everything.

House & Home

Disclaimer: We are not in the business of criticising other people's choices when it comes to decorations and style. The picture are just to let you see what we've bought and then eventually what we have done with it!


So, we got the keys to the house we have bought and the builders moved in one Monday to start work. There's quite a lot to do, but it should all get done this month and we will be in for the start of May! To give you an idea of what we have inherited here's a picture or two of the present kitchen:

 These glass-doored cupboards have access from both sides. Very nice in their day, but not for us. The dark wood is a bot overpowering too, so they are all coming out and a nice new kitchen will be fitted.

We won't be having this style of cupboard either, it just closes off what will be a really nice big kitchen/diner. So we are opening it all up as much as possible. In fact we're making the downstairs as open-plan as we can by creating a wide opening into the lounge from the far end of the kitchen. If you go to the left of these galls cabinets, and turn to your left, there are a pair of sliding doors into the lounge. We're taking them out and making the opening bigger too.

But the kitchen isn't the only room getting the treatment. In the lounge there is a feature fireplace that was once someone's pride and joy, but again not our taste. So the chimney is coming out all the way up through the house.

While all of that is being done, the house needs to be rewired and there's a bit of structural repair work to do in the extension. Oh, and a new bathroom to be fitted, two or three ceiling to come down and be re-done and then decorated throughout and new floor coverings.

Thinking about it, that's quite a list for April!

Nutritional Advisor at your service!

Well I've got my diploma in nutrition, and with merit no less! It was an interesting experience studying again and doing something so different. I'm not sure I feel at all confident about knowing my stuff yet, but then when you think about it, that's always true when you have really only studied the data and not practiced with real people in real situations. I remember learning so much chemistry at university, but only every really applying a small amount of that knowledge at work.

My next task with the nutrition studies, as far as I can see at the moment, is to grow my familiarity with the subject matter. To read and re-read, and to work with some real people. So. I'm going to put it all to work by developing some diet information for a friend who wants to lose some weight, and then I might do some research on sports nutrition, maybe supplements and prepare some leaflets I can give to interested people.

It's quite a scary thought to consider setting up a business doing nutrition and then adding the sports therapy stuff and possibly personal training to it. But these are all opportunities to create a new career for myself.

What is quite hard is explaining to people that this isn't me leaving the church behind, but neither is it me trying to find an income stream while I wait for a church to grow that can support a return to so-called full-time ministry. This is a new way of doing ministry and leadership, not a stop-gap because I don't like the established church and it appears not to like me much!

My hope and prayer is that this is a new way of being alongside people God loves and misses. I'm not a nutritional advisor to do evangelism, I'm a nutritional advisor because I think nutrition is important and interesting. But I will always take my faith with me wherever I go and whoever I see. I can't help that.

So let's see where this takes me. But for the moment I'm enjoying having got my diploma.

Habits and discipline

I got thinking this morning about the difference between a habit and a discipline. Sometimes we use them like synonyms, but I'm not sure they are the same. It seems to be that while some argue that it takes around 90 days to develop a habit, it only actually takes one day to break it. We're talking good habits here, bad habits take minutes to develop and years to break!

And therein lies the conundrum. It doesn't seem to matter if I spend 3 days doing a good thing or 100 days, it only actually takes one day to break it. Bad habits are easy, they come quite naturally to most of us. Any good habit I form lasts only as long as I am disciplined about keeping it. When I lose my disciple, I lose my habit. That holds true for a forehand or a eating habit or a fitness goal.

So I've sort of given up on the idea of developing good habits, and now I'm trying to focus on being disciplined in the way I do things and the choices I make. In fact self-discipline is the only habit I want to develop deeply in my life. If I have self-discipline then maybe I have what I need to continue to make good choices, whether that's in nutrition, fitness, learning or spiritual terms.

Perhaps this all sounds like playing with word to you, granted that might be the case. But discipline is about facing each day and the decisions it brings with the same attitude. It doesn't rely on doing what I did yesterday except in the sense of choosing to make a disciplined choice rather than an undisciplined one. so today I chose to have a flapjack. That decision will inform my choice tomorrow, as will having been to the gym and for a swim. I don't look back and think I haven't been for a while, why bother to go. I treat each day as an opportunity to choose again and to be responsible for and in control of the choice I make.

That is discipline not habit in my opinion.

Two new apps on my iPad

I recently downloaded a couple of new apps to my iPad about fitness and nutrition. The first is Myfood from Pomegranate Software.

This was a free app to download, but the real value seems to come when you unlock it (only £1.49) and can access more information and you get rid of the ads! I haven't fully explored it, but it does look helpful for my nutrition studies and it might be worth a look even in its free form for anyone interested to see what's in their food.

What I like about what I've seen so far is the clear information you get. It would be nice if you could re-order the foods by diet type, but that a fussy thing for those of us that want to be able to see where to get say vitamin B12 if you don't eat meat or dairy.

Then again, I don't think it is meant to be that flexible or comprehensive, but it's good as it is.



The second app is Fitness Planner:




This looked interesting and it actually is quite interesting but probably only to someone keen enough to do all the work of entering data and leading a well ordered and disciplined life. I'm not sure I fit into that category, so I'm not sure it's going to be as useful to me as it might be to someone else.

If, on the other hand, you are planning some serious training and need a schedule then this might be the app for you. Again there are areas that you can unlock, but I haven't done that yet.

Of course there's still MyFitnessPal that I mentioned some time ago as a useful food tracker and diet analyser.

These are not the only offering out there, and if you're using an app or web-based fitness and/or nutrition resource, I'd like to know more about it!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I really don't like role play stuff!

The thing is, I really don't like training or seminar exercises where you have to "pretend" that you're in a particular situation and then act accordingly. Sadly, in some circumstances, there is any other way by which to do what what needs to be done in order to learn what needs to be learnt! This was my experience yesterday as I did my First Aid training.

The course was brilliant and the course tutor was great. How you maintain your motivation and get a group of people going and working and learning over the course of a whole day is quite incredible and our training did just that. He must have been exhausted!

Personally, I don't have any experience of First Aid courses, so I have nothing with to compare yesterday's event, but I would certainly recommend ReactFirst as a training body. They run a wide range of sports related First Aid courses and our day was well delivered and very valuable. I guess First Aid is one of those things for which you hope never to have to be responsible. At least I do. But now I've done my training I can see the value of it and I'm thinking about what I need to stuff into the bottom of my tennis bag just in case.

Under the Magnolia Tree

Years ago, when I first saw a magnolia in flower, I decided that one day we would plant a magnolia tree in our garden. I even researched the cost and thought seriously about it when we lived in Bedford. I'm not a great gardener. Most of the time it's Anne who potters around the garden cutting the grass and weeding the borders. I like sitting in the garden, and I don't mind growing the odd vegetable, but time has always seemed to mitigate against becoming deeply involved with the soil.

Earlier this week  I visited our new home to meet the builder and discuss the work that needs to be done. The house officially becomes our in a week's time and there's a good month's work to be done. Rewiring, new kitchen and bathroom, a little remedial work on the extension and lots of decorating. Hopefully it will all be done in April ready for moving at the beginning of May.

The new garden is a little overgrown and, at about 150ft, quite long. I wandered down the garden to stare at the view across the open fields, which was very peaceful indeed. But here's the thing. About a third of the way down the garden on the left-hand side is a white magnolia tree. Because we looked at the house before Christmas and only went in late January/early February to have a good look at what needed doing, I didn't spot the tree, even if I had the ability to recognise it without the characteristic flowers.

So two days ago I got the surprise of my life to see this wonderful tree in full bloom. It needs a trim, but there it was. A good frost and all the flowers will be gone. It's even possible that Anne won't see it in flower until next year if the weather turns over the next week. But it will still be there!

I'm not sure how I felt when I saw the tree. Was it a sign of God's blessing or his sense of humour? Do I really need to read anything into it at all? It was just there. Part of God's amazing creativity as are the ivies growing through the hedge and covering a concrete post and the apples strewn across the grass from the apple tree that needs pruning and the weeds growing up between the different surfaces of the drive. None of those drew my attention in the way that the magnolia did, but that doesn't make them any less significant.

Perhaps the point of all this is that the magnolia will always be a wonderful sight when in flower, but a lot of the time it will be a tree without flowers. And without paying attention to all the other plants, wanted and unwanted, in the garden, eventually the magnolia will be hidden. Choked out by ivy and other fast growing and pernicious flora.

Do my gifts get choked out by weeds too? Does the glory of what God has called me to be and to do get overshadowed by the unattended stuff around me? Self-agrandisment is not pretty. This is not about self-promotion. It is about examining my life and paying attention to that which needs to be done in order to maintain a healthy relationship with God and an availability to serve him with all that I have. I can't make God love me more, but I can affect my usefulness, my availability. I can choose to nurture my life for the glory of God.

And when all of that reflecting becomes a little self-indulgent, well at least I'll have my magnolia tree to look at!

Disappointed but not surprised

So the "We're in this together" principle took another turn towards the rich and away form the poor with yesterday's budget announcements. This morning's paper were full of "Granny tax" headlines, presumably because Granddad isn't expected to live long enough anymore to qualify for a state pension!

I haven't read all the analysis, but the disappointment is clear to anyone who wonders why an extra £170 after inflation for the lowest earners equates in any way to the 5% reduction for very high earners. Anyone who is earning £153,000 will save that amount straightaway, and once again as you go up the higher income scale you win and just keep winning even if you have to pay more stamp duty.

So it seems that this budget is about putting more people into higher rate tax, cutting benefits and all in order to fuel the misconception that rich people are dis-incentivised by paying tax. The rest of us naturally find paying our taxes a real joy! I'm not sure what work is actually being rewarded by George Osborne's plans.

I'm equally disappointed this week in the attitude of the train drivers union over the Olympics. Rejecting an £850 bonus because there were "too many strings attached to the offer'" has all the hallmarks of greed. Is anyone else being paid a bonus for doing their job during the Olympics? Am I just being cynical or won't they be doing overtime too and getting rather well paid for that. It seems quite ridiculous that there are hundreds if not thousands of people giving up their time for free to make the Olympics a great event, and here we have an unmistakable grab for personal gain. I'm sorry but I can't see it any other way.

So, if it hadn't been for winning my tennis match on Monday, this might just have been the most disappointing week I've had for a long time! Every cloud has a silver lining as they say, and I did win a Premium Bond too, so life can't be all that bad.

Perhaps, when it all comes out in the wash, we will actually be grateful for the influence of the Lib Dems. Maybe without them this budget would have been far worse for most of us.

Church Planting

While I still remain uncomfortable about using the term church planting to describe what we may be doing in the future, these Ten Things You Should Know seemed very appropriate:


1. You're a limited leader. (Exodus 18:18)
2. Process your hurt. (1 Peter 5:7)
3. You are not planting the church. Your family is planting the church. (Ephesians 6)
4. You'll experience internal and external prejudice. (Galatians 2:11-21)
5. Go after men. (1 Timothy 6:11-16)
6. Get a spiritual father. (1 Timothy 1:2, Philippians 2:22)
7. Date your wife. (Ephesians 5)
8. Establish unity with your core team. (Philippians 1:27-28)
9. People will leave. (John 6:58-66)
10. Fundraise for longevity. (Philippians 4:15-20)

Not too sure about number 10, but then again we haven't considered funding as an issue. I suppose too, that we would need to reflect on these ten items in the context of organic/missional/simple models. I'd say that for the most part they are thoroughly transferable, but maybe there are other things to consider with the model we are exploring.

Coming Second

Hanging on the mirror for the moment is my silver medal for being a runner up in the winter league team tennis tournament at the club. Not a bad achievement, but we could have won it. In the end it came down to games won, and we lost by four games, which of course means we only needed to have won two more games than we did, in the sets we lost, and it would have been a draw!

Ah well, at least it was close and it's no mean thing to have got all the way to the final.

It's actually the first medal I've ever won, which is quite something. Maybe it is never too late to try something new!

Do we need to know God's will?

Interesting moment yesterday at our local minister's fraternal. We talked about all sorts of things and then we shared some things for prayer together. I talked about our situation and the house move etc and someone said, "We should pray for you too, that you will know God's will," or words to that effect. And then I suddenly thought, do I actually need to know God's will? What do we normally mean by that? Do we mean knowing exactly what to do and when to do it, like following a blueprint of a way marked walk? Or do we mean something more general?

My answer to the offer of prayer might have seemed somewhat flippant to some when I said that I was actually quite comfortable not knowing. What I meant by that I think, was that I wasn't overly concerned that I didn't know exactly what lay ahead and how it would work out. That in fact not knowing was not a problem. This wasn't some sort of deterministic approach to the future, the kind of "if God wants it to happen it will happen" way of living, but hopefully a more fateful, or maybe faith-filled response of trust that God has a purpose that he is working out and that I have a place in that purpose that I can fulfil. It's holding onto the the kind of promise made in Jeremiah 29 without needing a divine business plan delivered by angles and signed for by me.

Perhaps we focus too quickly on knowing God's will and too slowly on living God-honouring lives. There things that we do know, things that we are very aware should form part of our lives as followers of Christ, and we struggle to do those things. Why then should we be so worried about the stuff the don't know, maybe don't even need to know. I suppose technically speaking we might be talking here about the difference between the revealed and sovereign wills of God. But do we need such a distinction in order to work out how every choice before us?

I've just remembered the conversation Jesus had with his disciples when they asked about the future of one particular disciple In the nicest way possible, he simply said, "Mind your own business!"

I don't really know the answer to my own question. I do know that some people seem to hear very clearly and apparently quite easily what it is that God wants them to do. I do not. For me, it often only becomes apparent after the event as I look back and begin to discern patterns that point to God's involvement and guidance. Perhaps there is a spiritual equivalent of proprioception on which I need to work in order to see more clearly and act accordingly.

Re-emerging into worship

The last few months have been an interesting transition for me. Actually for both of us. Being on sabbatical is all about resting before returning to the fray, but this sabbatical has no return at the send of it. The occasional preaching engagement may arise, but overall that part of my ministry is probably never going to be as regular as it once was. We shall have to wait and see.

Then there's the question of where do we go to worship, what does it mean to worship, how will we contribute to worship as members of a congregation rather than as leaders? And so on. Finding a place is hard enough, but actually being able to, or more truthfully actually wanting to worship, is possibly the even greater challenge. It's not that I've fallen out of relationship with God, far from it. It's just that the wearying nature of what we've been through has just left me jaded and not that interested in the whole corporate worship model.

Somewhere in all of this is the balance between discipline, the positive act of choosing to worship, and desire, the emotional connection that makes intimate worship possible. Without the desire, worship is going to be dry, uninviting and formulaic. It will be a simple process of going through the motions. And yet, without disciple, worship becomes a feel-good factor and something in which I engage win I feel like it and not because God actually deserves and even demands my worship. If I truly believe the things I say when I preach, then worship is always an appropriate response to any and every situation.

So I'm trying to engage. I'm choosing to engage.

And here's the thing. As I discipline myself to worship, I found I begin to worship. I begin to get caught up in the wonder and awe of both knowing and being known. I was a little later than typical arriving at tennis this morning because I chose to worship. The song I wanted to use wasn't on my iPod, so I added it and listened to it as I walked to the club.

What I miss most, and in truth was denied in many ways over the last couple of years, was a sense of spontaneity in worship. Choosing my own time and choosing what I use is helping me re-emerge into a worshipping lifestyle. Letting a worship song wash over me (that's about the only way I can describe simply listening in an engaged sort of way) is both therapeutic and spiritually defining.

Perhaps this is how God is leading me beside still waters and refreshing my soul.

Progress report!

Every so often I get a progress report for my nutrition course. It shows me the marks I've got so far and it projects a finishing date. So far I'm on track to finish in June apparently, although I'm working at completing the course work in April hopefully. I only have something like five more assignments to write, so with a bit of discipline I should be able to work through those steadily over the next few weeks.

Of course this is not the only thing I'm doing! The idea behind doing the nutrition course was to get my head back into study and writing mode because I knew I'd need to do that for the academic side of the sports massage course. So, as I'm writing up nutrition assignments, I'm also trying to write up my anatomy and physiology paper. The problem here is the new language of muscles and bones. So far I think I've confused myself more than I've absorbed, but yesterday I decided to draw a map of the shoulder, listing all the muscles with their origins, insertions and actions. Hopefully that will help me order some of the information in my already crowded brain!

And, as if learning new skills and acquiring new knowledge wasn't enough, we're buying a house and I'm looking for a job! The latter is stressful because as a minister I have nothing to offer the world beyond the church, the former is stressful because buying a house is always stressful! We've signed the contracts but not exchanged them yet, so we are still a bit in limbo but getting ever closer. I just hope we get the house in time to do the work on it before we have to move out of our current home.

I guess by now that you can understand why, when I get asked how I'm doing, the answer is usually that we are okay, but the truth is that okay is rather good when you think about everything with which we are dealing at the moment.

Perhaps today the 'phone will ring and it will be someone offering me just the right job to fit around all the things I'm trying to do (I forgot to mention starting church from scratch in the new location as another point of stress), or maybe it will be the solicitor saying that we can exchange contracts. Perhaps the 'phone won't ring at all and another day will pass and the feeling of pressure will ratchet up another notch.

Which brings us to an important question. What do you do when the pressure mounts? When prayers go seemingly unanswered and you can see no clear way forward, it is so very easy to find yourself wondering if God actually likes you anymore. Perhaps he's busy with bigger things, or perhaps you've done one too many things wrong and now you're on the outside. If you've never felt like that then bless you. Me, well I feel it a lot. And I have no easy answers or simple solution to it either. I just have to persevere.

Faith is easy when things are going well.

By the end of next week it might all be different. Papers might be written, job offers secured, house purchased. But the pressure will come, if not through these avenues, then by some other means. Faith isn't so much about overcoming pressure, it's about learning to manage it by faith, in faith, through faith.

Suing the BU

I don't know if this story has reached beyond the Evening Standard, but last week there was article about an ex-missionary who is suing the BU over loss of earnings-"Church ruined my chance to play for Man Utd" Evening Standard 5th March.

Apparently the said missionary believes he could have played for Manchester United had it not been for the church and the union persuading him to become a missionary. So he's suing for loss of earnings. If he were to win his case, then the current £1 million defect would have a further £10 million is compensation to be added to it. I hope we're well insured!

The implications of such a case are enormous. We might think it foolish to make such a claim and we might hope that the courts will agree that no matter how he feels now, at the time it was his choice to become an evangelist and engage in mission as he did. On the other hand, how do we help people hear God's call and respond to it? And what do we do when things turn sour and once faithful followers become disillusioned antagonists?

I ask these questions for several reasons. First because I know first hand how it feels to find yourself wondering if you have ever truly heard God's call, and secondly because if the people I knew at college and from elsewhere who find themselves no longer serving God or sharing the faith we once shared. Once they were passionate about the gospel, now they are no longer even in fellowship. How do we care for them, if we do, if we can?

I have no solutions just a few prayers.