Reflecting on the story of the five missionaries (Jim Elliot, Nate Saint et al) it's easy to think that their story sets the bar too high for our mission endeavours. I happen to see it somewhat differently. Personally, the simplicity of their whole-hearted commitment serves as a constant challenge.
I'm getting towards the end of the book now. I know what's coming, yet I still feel a strange emotional tug as I realise that as they spoke of their willingness to die to bring the gospel to an unreached people, this would indeed be the price they would all pay. They were not adventurers setting off on some exciting road trip. They knew the risks and they prepared for them as best they could.
The section of the book I've just finished included some of Roger Youderian's journal. For me it was deeply moving to read of his personal struggle with the value of what he was doing. He had decided that it was time for him to leave Ecuador because, as he put it, of a Failure to measure up as a missionary and get next to the people.
There are days when I feel the same about ministry, days when I sense a failure to measure up as a minister. To me it's comforting to know I'm not alone. Minister, missionary or just a follower of Jesus Christ, I guess none of us are far from these feelings of uselessness in the kingdom of God.
Had Roger Youderian decided to go home, he most certainly would not have found himself in the jungle seeking to extend the hand of friendship to the Auca, he would not have died that day in January 1956. But even through the darkest night of his soul he sought only to love God and follow him wholeheartedly. This surely is one bar that can never be described as set too high.
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