Things I've learned while using the bus

I'm no stranger to public transport in the sense that I often take the train to London, but riding on the buses is a different experience. Yesterday I had a funeral visit to make, and because the car is being fixed, I took the bus. On Sunday I used the bus to get to the tennis tournament and home again afterwards. It's quite liberating in one sense, but I can imagine how frustrating it can be if it's your only choice. I'm not about to wax lyrical about the joys of public transport!

Anyway, I've learned a few lessons form my bus days. Here are a few:

• Trains run to a timetable, and that's important. Buses run to a timetable, but who cares what it is. The buses don't appear to worry!

• Double-decker buses can corner a lot faster than you imagine. Don't try and get up just before a sharp bend or roundabout. You may find yourself closer to someone you don't know than you want to be.

• Teenagers on buses appear to have a generally good grasp of Anglo-saxon but little knowledge of the rules governing the construction of a simple sentence in English. Can one really, "Go Lakeside"?

• Bus stops are built next to large puddles, probably by law.

• Not all driver know where the bus stop is, so be prepared for sudden braking and the possibility of loose old people being thrown around the inside of the vehicle.

• Hearing yourself think is not possible if you catch a bus during the school run.

• Every so often everything works and the bus comes just after you arrive at the bus stop. This is a anomaly on the space time continuum that will be corrected the next time you're a little late leaving the house.

• Knowing there's another bus in 15 minutes doesn't make having just missed one easier (see rule 1 above!)

• When the sun is shining and you have an ice-cream and you're not in a hurry to get somewhere, waiting for the bus is not an issue. 

• Riding on the top deck raises lots of questions. For example, "Who put a racecourse behind that hedge?" Or, "Why hasn't someone developed a ventilation system that stops the windows steaming up on anything bu the driest day?"