Surrendered

I was sitting this morning just thinking and reflecting and I began to think about ministry. It has its ups and downs, and it would be really easy to get frustrated and cynical about the church, but as I sat and thought I realised something quite profound.

I'm still passionate about ministry.

If the truth were told, I think I'd do it for free. Actually I do if you understand the technical nature of a stipend rather than a salary. But that aside, I found myself praying a simple prayer of surrender this morning.

Years ago, before I went to college to study theology and train for whatever ministry God had for me, I remember sitting in my car in the car park at work one lunchtime. Things were not great at the time, and I remember saying the kind of thing everyone says once in a while about getting out of a place and doing something different. Then I felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to think about what it might mean to stay in that place. It was not a pleasant thought but the question was simple: What if God wanted me to stay working in that place for the rest of my life?

It was then that I guess I first thought about the idea of totally surrendering my dreams and ambitions, hopes and desires, into the hands of God. So I prayed something like this: "Lord, I don't want to stay, I'd do almost anting to not stay, but if you want me to stay I'll stay. I'll stay and serve you as best I can for as long as you ask.

Well, about a year later I was off to college. I knew it was right because I knew I'd surrendered.

So there I was this morning remembering that sense of surrender and praying again. My prayer remains as simple as ever: "Lord, I surrender."