New days and new starts

The 1st of September. Actually this is the official anniversary of starting at Cotton End. Today I begin my 6th year.

The other thing about the 1st is the opportunity to start fresh. You can start a fresh reading plan, or start a fresh exercise routine (if you want to do this vicariously then read Andy's blog about his new start on the road to fitness and well-being). If you're trying to live out a committed life as a follower of Jesus, then you'll know all about making fresh starts in almost every area of your life, particularly your devotional life.

There's something about the evangelical approach to the Quiet Time that works for some, but often doesn't work for most. We find it difficult to concentrate, we find it difficult to focus and sometimes we just find it difficult to stay awake. I remember when I first began my journey with Jesus seeing a film about a college student who became a Christian. He had a pre-college job in a bakery or some such place, and now he was a Christian he got up at 5:30am to have his QT before cycling to work and then to class. I must have carried the guilt of that film for years as I struggled with early mornings.

Several things helped liberate me from that guilt, or at least most of it.

First was the realisation that I wasn't an abnormal Christian because I couldn't focus early in the day. Over the years, as I've got older, I've become more able to use the early part of the day. It's partly due to years of 6:00am starts for college, work and for the last 15 years trying to be coherent enough to smile and wish my wife well in her day's endeavours as she commutes to work in London and elsewhere.

Second came the understanding that God loves me just as much today, when I did read my Bible and pray, as much as he loved me yesterday when I just prayed or the other day on holiday when I can't remember doing either in a particularly focused way, (although I suspect I prayed halfway up a certain steep 1,000 foor climb!)

Third was developing a healthy understanding of discipline. Paul talks about discipline for a goal, an athlete goes into training in order to be able to compete. The discipline of a devotional life has a goal beyond simply getting through the daily quiet time. I love reading through my Bible. I even have several versions and translations laid out in a one-year format. It's great to read the bits I wouldn't choose to read, and discovering stories about God's love and the lives of his followers that I would otherwise miss if I only picked the bits I like. But it's very easy to get into the habit of reading in order to be able to say, "I've read the Bible again this year." And the natural implication of, "I bet you can't beat that then," that goes with it. The goal of my devotional life is to become a more fully formed follwer of Jesus not just a walking concordance for the Bible.

Perhaps that's the root of the problem of the dutiful approach to the quiet time. It's focus is on approval, of saying I must be a Christian because I do the devotional bit. It's borne more out of a work ethic than a relationship. Maybe the quite time plays into the hands of what Jim Packer once described as the problem with North American Protestantism (and which relates to a broader spectrum of Christian faith too). He said the problem was that: it was 3,000 miles wide and half an inch deep.

There have been time when my devotional life has fuelled a shallow Christianity. I've ticked the boxes and got the job done, but there's been little engagement with God and little transformation of my life as a result.

I'm humbled by the thought that God continues to love me, continues to speak to me, and continues to use me. So here I am on the 1st of a new month. A new start, a new day of possibilities and new opportunities to connect with the God who has always loved me, who rejoices over, sings songs for me and whispers, "missed you," when I've been away for a while.

Maybe today I don't need to worry that God's question for me will be, "Where have you been?" but more likely, "How are you doing?"