Thinking about sabbaticals!

It's funny how things pop up now and again that prod you into action or simply generate a memory. It can be either positive or negative, you never know until it happens.

Having not written anything for months, not that there hasn't been stuff about which to write, I checked my account to see a "comment awaiting moderation". This is usually because someone has found my old post about my index to Songs of Fellowship, but not this time. This time it was a comment on an old post from 2008 about my impending sabbatical. If I'd done something different or not even bothered with the sabbatical, would things have turned out differently? I'm not sure and there's little point speculating about it now. It's enough to say that decisions were made that set the chain of events in motion that brought us here to this point and time and place.

It's interesting to think that it is 8 years since I had a sabbatical. Of course I'm one of the privileged few who got to take sabbaticals in the first place. Most people go through their whole working lives without ever getting the chance to take a prolonged period of time out to reflect or do some piece of research or simply do something completely different. Imagine how your life might change, how your view of the world could change or even your view of yourself if you could spend three months working overseas or in a shelter or reading? I wonder what some of our companies would look like if CEO's spent some time on the shop floor or if editors of certain newspapers spent a little time with refugees.

I can't imagine being able to take the time out for another sabbatical. If I were still in full-time ministry I'd have been overdue another break, but self-employment makes it hard. On the other hand, it's not beyond me to make the most of my flexible schedule and invest some time in doing some of those things a sabbatical gives you the opportunity to pursue.

Years ago, and I do mean years, I remember taking out a sheet of A4 and writing down everything I was doing and trying to put a timescale against. Was it something that was short term, medium term of long term? Did it have an end date? Then I wrote down the things I wanted to do and how long I though that would take. Then came the challenge of working the two lists together. That was difficult, but it enabled me to do two things at that particular time. One was completing a distance learning course to improve my counselling skills, the other was handing over some tasks and ministry things to others in order to free up time to concentrate in other areas.

I never produced anything academically worthwhile during my sabbaticals. I rarely read new stuff because I was always reading new stuff anyway. A sabbatical was a chance to switch off from some of that. Now, it's very different. Any sabbatical time will be very much shorter, a week maybe two at the most. Most people call them holidays! A rest, a change of scene, both great ingredients for a mini-sabbatical.

Perhaps I need a plan, perhaps I should write a guide on how to take a mini-sabbatical. I feel a self-help book emerging.

Back to work

So, it's back to work today after three months away. It's a strange feeling, wondering what I'm going to find. I guess today will be fairly quiet, although I've already had a 'phone call and a couple of emails to deal with. 

Because of the way I structured my sabbatical, or rather didn't structure it, I'm not coming back with fresh vision or lots of new ideas. But I'm also aware that there are things that I'm probably more ready to reflect upon now that I've had some time away and a good rest to boot. 

So I'm back. Sermons to write, celebrations to plan, mission to envision and encourage. But first the dentist!

What of woodworking when the sabbatical is over?

As my sabbatical draws to a close I need to decide what to do with the wood that needs storing away and what to do about continuing to do some woodwork within the confines of my normal schedule. It would be sad indeed to have to wait another 7 years before getting the tools out again.

The problem is that woodwork is not the only thing I need to fit into the hours when I'm not working. I love to walk and I like to swim and do a little exercise at the gym. Then there's time with Anne and household jobs that need doing. 

So it will be hard, but with a few goals in mind and a few projects on the drawing board, maybe I'll be able to keep doing a little here and there.

Before I get back into work, I hope to make a linen basket for Ally to take to university and maybe a box for the "household" toolkit. Just before we moved to Cotton End, I came across a neat little collection of useful tools at B&Q for a very good price. The tools have served us well but the carry case is falling apart. 

You'd think with all the tools I've got already, another set would seem ridiculous, but these tools sit in the kitchen by the boiler and mean that you don't have to go out to the shed to get a screwdriver or hammer when you need one for a quick job.

Weather and waiting

It's raining again! 

I don't remember having two consecutive days without rain so far this summer. I'm sure we have had them, but I haven't noticed. It is so frustrating when you need the better weather in order to get outside to complete a project. I might even clear some space in the garage!

You might be wondering why I don't use the garage as a workshop, I have thought about it. But the problem is that there is no power in it, it's a long way from the house and too near someone else's home (the noise of power tools would probably get a little irritating for them). I'd have to take all my tools with me and then bring them back each time too. So it's not really very well positioned to be the kind of place you can just go an do a few things.

So it's a waiting game, hoping the weather will relent and I'll get to finish the blanket box.

Meanwhile, I need to get my head back around the autumn plan for church. I need to plan readings and develop the outline for the Sunday programme. I also ought to give some thought to what needs to change in order to move forward with the vision. 

Why woodwork?

On reflection, one of the things I've really enjoyed during my sabbatical is the opportunity woodworking has given me to be creative. I've always been involved in problem solving, right from my first job in R&D with British Gas. Before that I loved maths at school, especially the more complex algebra we used to do.

Solving problems, coming up with creative solutions and making something practical has been rather fulfilling. It would be nice to think that when I return to work in a few weeks times that I will still make the time to do a little woodwork. It would be a shame not use that router table I've built or to not finish the toolbox!

Into August

The weather is looking good, and I'm hopeful that I'll get the chance to continue to do some woodwork this week. I'm now into my last month of my sabbatical and I do wonder where the time has gone and how come I haven't done all the things I thought I would do. 

I was hoping to do a lot of walking, and the woodwork and some decorating and... the list goes on. But time has gone and many things are going to be left undone. On the other hand, filling my time with lots of activity was not the object of the exercise. In a couple of weeks I will need to begin to focus my mind on returning to church. 

So, the next four weeks need to be used well and used wisely. I have an idea for a cabinet to make for my virtual workshop (the workshop I imagine I might have one day) that will use the techniques I will need for the blanket box. It's a simple storage unit for my new router table and maybe one other piece of equipment. Then it's the blanket box and if I get time the wardrobe.

Walking can wait until I return to full-time duties. I guess you can't have two main hobbies at a time and it was either walk or woodwork for the summer.

So let's hope August is a productive month with something to show for it.

Just today

Being on sabbatical should be rewarding, the hard thing is figuring out what the reward looks like! Today was a nice day, a day of pottering around finding things to do. For example I went to the timber yard to talk about the wood I need for a project I have in mind. Tomorrow I'll probably put in the order so that I can actually make a start on the famous blanket box I said I would make. The only problem of course is that in my mind it is a beautiful piece of handmade furniture, carefully crafted. The reality is that it might not be, but I won't find out unless and until I build it. So I need to take the plunge.

 This gets me thinking about life and church. Take my swimming. Two years ago I couldn't swim. Not a stroke. When asked if I swam, my answer was simply, "Only vertically." A few months ago I was really quite frustrated because I still hadn't worked out the breathing technique to enable me to swim any reasonable distance without having to stop and stand up. Then all of sudden, on holiday, I began to swim with my head up. Not good for the back, but something that everyone else made look easy. And now I can do that too.

So today I went for a swim and as I swam I thought to myself that if I can swim with my head out of the water and swim with my head under the water, then breathing is just a matter of timing. Having wandered up and down the pool a few times doing this rather erratic breathing pattern a thought struck me. If I could swim with my head out of the water on breaststroke then I should be able to clear the water to breath on front crawl. So I tried, and it worked. Timing was not all it could be, but it worked.

So is there a point to all of this? You tell me. It's just that sometimes I get the feeling that as Christians we don't keep going as much as we should. Just as people we probably lack perseverance, and what we sometimes lack in perseverance we make up for in timidity. The swimming thing is immensely frustrating, but I just have to keep getting back in the water and trying again and again. 

I don't know whether that means that there are some things about which I have been too timid or others about which we've been too ready to give up, but there are things to do and things that will just take courage and discipline to do.

I wonder, is faith a matter of courage and discipline amongst the more obvious things?

Apart from deep, philosophical thinking, I spent some time today reconditioning my Dad's old try plane. It says Stanley on the frog, record on the blade and Bailey on the main body. It was either put together form parts or these three companies worked together. I might see what I can find out. Just in case you were worrying that was taking my time off too seriously!

Mission and the church

Just to demonstrate that I'm not becoming woodwork obsessed...

I was thinking this morning about the church in general and the church of which I'm a part in particular. I was thinking about how the ethos of the church and the stated vision and purpose of the church are so often quite different. And I was wondering how you get to the point where you see that clearly and you take responsibility to change whatever needs to change in order to move to where God is calling you to be as a people seeking to follow him.

This thought struck me. The problem is that we don't see. We don't easily perceive the truth and our, sometimes long, histories have generated ways of thinking that obstruct our ability to see. We need fresh eyes.

Here's my fresh eyed simple take on one issue in church life:

Mission doesn't happen because the church exists, the church exists because mission happens.

You see, it seems to me that we've got ourselves into a mindset that says that mission should be a result of the church becoming the active organisation where every member is engaged in sharing their faith with as many people as possible. And it becomes possible therefore for the church to continue to exist even when it doesn't engage in mission because the church comes first.

But maybe, just maybe, we need to remember that the church is born in and out of mission. In and out of incarnational involvement. In other words, the church can only exist as a result of missional engagement. No mission, no church.

Whether the proverbial chicken came first or the egg doesn't matter, because as far as the kingdom matters, it was mission.

Welcome to July

So, I'm now into my second month of my sabbatical. The first month has gone very quickly. My plans to build the blanket box and wardrobe may have to be delayed as I put in some more practice at the woodworking bench. I don't want to start something that I'll always be disappointed with because of poor skills that I know I can improve. 

Yesterday I spent the morning tidying our utility room, which included building a simple timber frame in which I can hang the recycling bags. It's rather nice to have had a simple idea and being able, and having the time, to fabricate it. This is the joy of being on sabbatical, it gives you the time to do things that otherwise would get squeezed out of a typical schedule. 

During the normal run of things, with one day off a week, and lots of meetings, there's little time to do all the things one would want to do. Of course this isn't any different to the calendars with which everyone typically works. Retirement beckons simply in order to fit everything in!

I hope that this month I might be able to combine some relaxing woodworking with some walking and some reading too. It seems I need just as organised an approach to being restful as I do for being busy.

I was looking for that!

It took all day, it was dirty and dusty at times, but it was worth it. We tidied the shed! It's one of those jobs that needs regular maintenance, but rarely gets it. Stuff accumulates. 

It's amazing to see all the things that I've kept because they might be useful one day. I've only fitted three kitchens in my life, but the quantity of left-over bits, screws and pins is impressive. Most are useless in truth, but some aren't. I've actually had "shelf supports" on my shopping list for some time but yesterday I found enough for the job to be done. Aside from that, I decided I really didn't need assorted colours of screw caps and hinge covers.

My other great accumulation is tools. When my father died I inherited many of his tools, and so my collection grew. But I already had a lot. I can't really bring myself to get rid of any of them. But then again, who really needs two power drills, three sanders and a dozen assorted wood chisels?

However, it was fun looking through the various toolboxes and finding my very first hand drill, bought at the market in Nottingham when I was about 11 or 12, and my first hand saw, also bought at the same market. Big thanks to to Anne, who sat sorting bags and boxes of screws into some sort of order. 

One day I'll take the plunge and sort out exactly what is useful and what I need and donate the rest to something like Twam (Tools with a mission) so that new life can be breathed into some old tools. Given that is takes about 7 toolboxes of various sizes to hold all the tools I've got, it could take some time!

Sabbatical woodworking

For those who are interested in this sort of thing... 

I've always dreamt of a day when I could rekindle the somewhat limited woodworking skills I learnt and developed at school. I've never had the space or time to do much about this over the years, but a sabbatical over the summer months at least hinted at the possibilities. 

I've done some drawings of two things I would like to make, a blanket box and a wardrobe. Quite ambitious really, given that it's been a long time since I did any serious joint making. So a little, or maybe a lot of practice is needed first.

Of course the first thing you need is somewhere to work and something on which to work. I do not have a workshop, so I need to work outside, which in turn means I need a bench that is sturdy and can be stored in a small space. I decided to use two bench vices (workmates if you buy Black & Decker) that I bought 7 years ago when I needed a simple bench on which to assemble kitchen cabinets when we moved the Cotton End. A sheet of mdf on two benches gave me the space to build the cabinets. The problem was that the mdf would slide about and was not stiff enough to bear any weight in the centre between the two stands. 

The solution was to build a simple framework from 50x75mm timber to support the bench top (12mm mdf). To this I added two 50mm square rails to fit in the vices on the stands. The simple "I" beam construction has given the bench a lot of stability and it will take quite a load. I haven't tried standing on it, but I'm pretty sure it would take my weight and much more.

I then added a small woodworking vice at one end. I'm left-handed, which is why it is positioned where it is. The pictures tell the story.

The bench is about 1500mm long and 600mm deep. It's not exactly lightweight, but it's manageable if you don't have to carry it very far. The choice of 75x50mm timber for the frame was simply to give a good working height for someone who is over 6ft tall. And I guess I could have got the stiffness from 25mm timber which would have made the bench lighter overall. Perhaps I'll try that when I get tired of lifting this one onto the stands!

My next two projects are a bench top table for my router and maybe a wooden storage box for chisels. I've made a start on the router table, which has been quite a challenge!

Taking risks

None of my questions about the church are new questions. They are questions that you've probably been asking too if you share my vision for a church that connects effectively and communicates clearly.

None of my questions about the church will ever be allowed to lead me to a place of despair about the church. It is, after all, not my church or our church, but it is the church that belongs to Jesus Christ. It's his to build not mine to protect.

I think that raises my first question: Do we take enough risks? 

The straight answer is probably not. Church, for many people, seems to be the place of least change in a rapidly changing world. It's the only place where you can go that will be the same next week, next month, next year. And yet the ministry of Jesus was always on the unsafe edge. Why then, is the church he planted, afraid of the edge?

I'm not suggesting we take risks for the sake of it, but something needs to change, I can feel it in my bones. I know that here at Cotton End we have two great opportunities to become a risk taking church, three if you count another one that's lurking in the background. Personally I can't see any way forward without taking these risks. Things simply will not happen if we wait for it to be safe to proceed. 

The risks, of course, need to be set in the context of faith, but not always the measure of faith we have. Our faith may be too small. I think Bill Hybels was the first person I heard use the term "Spirit inspired risk", and that is just what we need, a little Spirit inspired adventure.

If we are not willing to take these kinds of risks, then I think we are set on a course of competing with every other church for a shrinking proportion of the population that find church comfortable and acceptable, and whom the church finds comfortable and acceptable too. 

If 75% of the population are open to expressing some kind of belief in God and if only 5% of the population come to church to find that expression of faith, then what might church look like for the 70% that are missing? What might an effective church be for these 42 million people?

And don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting that we in any way adjust our core beliefs to match the beliefs of the wider population, but our strategy surely must change in some way to become the church that truly impacts people's lives.

Ongoing Sabbatical Reflections

With all this time on my hands I've come to realise that there are probably way too many things rushing around my ageing brain for me to think clearly about any of them. I need therefore some way to process them. A sense a little brain GTD is in order. Actually using something along the lines of GTD isn't necessarily a bad way of sifting through it all rather than keeping it crammed in my mind. After all, a sabbatical should be a time of letting go and setting one's mind free to process one's ideas rather than wander aimlessly through a landscape of half finished thoughts.

At the risk though of only having half finished thoughts, here are my current three big questions:

#1 How is my relationship with God? It's that old question of "how is it with my soul?" I'm reading through the Blackaby book I mentioned in a previous post, and that is proving useful (although I know at least one reviewer has some serious doubts about the book, but more of that at a later date possibly).

#2 How is my ministry shaping up in the light of the future and resent challenges of being and doing church? 

#3 What shape of church do we need to become in order to meet the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead of us? Interestingly Experiencing God has opened up a few questions in this area. I'm also reading Alan Hirsch's The Forgotten Ways.

Over the next week my plan is to formulate some questions within each of these areas and think about how I can most effectively reflect on each one. 

As I sat down to write this post, it was going to be about the questions that are rising to the surface about church, but I'll do that in another post.

Too many labels

As I continue to think about and read about missional church, it seems that three key words keep popping up. Missional is one, attractional and incarnational are the others. 

Labels are helpful when they are used to describe a set of values or an approach or style but not helpful when they become a target. I think all three of these words have value in describing the church as it should be. 

The only one that appears to be out of place when you look at the early church might be attractional. But then again, there was something about the early church life that drew people towards it, and that surely would count as attractional (albeit not in the sense that some use that word today).

Another thing that intrigues me is the balance between asserting the mission mandate of the church to go and make disciples with the other NT imperative to come and see. It's a delicate balancing act to keep things in perspective and not set one or other understanding of the church above all others. 

I'm hoping that my time away from church will give me the opportunity to try and put these pieces together in a way that will help the local church I serve to better understand what it means to follow Jesus and serve him in our 21st century setting.

Decorating can be bad for your health!

So, I decided to keep my promise to Anne and start decorating the bathroom yesterday. The wonderful thing about a sabbatical is that you have the time to yourself to do the jobs you've been ignoring for way too long. It must be at least two years, maybe three, since the bathroom was refitted and painting is way overdue. 

The only problem is that as I turned over in bed at 4:00am this morning, I pulled a muscle in my neck! Ah well, a day's rest and a massage should sort that out, and the painting can restart tomorrow. I actually like decorating but when it's business as usual in ministry, there's hardly ever the time to get everything out and enjoy the smooth rhythm of painting.

During a break I listened to another podcast from the Conversational Evangelism Conference. I really wished I could have been at the original event. From what I've heard so far in the podcasts, it would have been worth the flight and time to get there. There's another chance in September, but given I'll only just have returned to church after my sabbatical, it might not be possible to make that one either. Maybe we'll get a CE conference in the UK one day!

Sabbatical Reading

Two new books dropped through my letter-box yesterday. Vintage Jesus, by Mark Driscoll and The Forgotten Ways by Alan Hirsch. I'm not planning a great long reading list, but I do like to read and the sabbatical gives me a little more time to do so.

I decided to start with Vintage Jesus. It's basically an apologetics book, setting out the basics of Christian faith from an evangelical perspective. Three or four chapters in, it's a fairly straightforward read. Not everyone will appreciate Driscoll's style, but you can't really argue with the Biblical basis of what he is saying. It's good solid stuff.

Alan Hirsch came onto my radar as I began to explore the concept of the missional church. I'm not sure where I first heard the phrase "missional church" being used, but I recently decided to do a little searching out of the term and that's when I came across The Forgotten Ways and decided it might be worth a look. Twenty years ago I wrote a paper at college about reinvolving the church in mission, reflecting on the commissioning statements of Jesus and the place they should have in the life of the church. You might say then that missional church has been on my heart for a good long time.

Early Days

So, as of yesterday, I am officially on sabbatical. It’s going to take a little getting used to! Sunday was a strange day. Anne and I went off to church about 20 minutes away from home. We had a good time, but oh did it feel strange. I even found myself preparing mentally what I would say in case I got asked to share something!

I realised that as of 10:25am yesterday, being part of a congregation is actually well outside my comfort zone. I guess that is to be expected after so many years of actively being involved in preparing and delivering worship. 

When we got home, we chose to eat together and not join everyone else at the fellowship lunch. Again a strange experience for both of us. It took a measure of restraint not to go and find out how things had gone in our absence.

Today has been a quite ay of relaxing a little, doing a little personal administration, and generally trying to wind down into being on sabbatical. Sadly the weather is pretty awful for June, so getting to work in the garden wasn’t possible. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I’ve amused myself by doing a few drawings of one or two things to make before I get to work on the furniture projects I have in mind.

A great way to finish

My last day of ministry for three months involved doing a wedding. It was a great way to finish. Although, having said that, I know there are some administrative things that I've purposely left until Monday to sort out. It was quite busy last week and I saw no value in getting all stressed out about things that could wait until the funeral and wedding I had to do were over.

So, it's now Sunday morning and I'm up reasonably early. No last minute things to check, just enjoying tidying up a few loose ends. I need to make a decision about where to go to church today. I know how easy it would be to choose not to go anywhere, but that's not my preferred choice. 

Anyway, there are a few things I need to drop into church before anyone arrives, and if we're going to go any distance to church today, we'll need to leave in good time.

Two days to go

It's Friday and I have only today and tomorrow left before my sabbatical starts. And I think I'm more relaxed now about the whole thing than I certainly was a few weeks ago. 

The weather doesn't look too promising for doing my woodwork projects. Maybe the first thing I need to do is build a workshop! A friend has offered his garage, so I'll have to see how things shape up. Still, there's plenty of other things I can do in inclement weather. There's a fair amount of decorating that I can get on with, which would please Anne. 

Tomorrow is my last official working day, and it's nice to have a wedding as my last official bit of ministry before the rest. On Monday I intend to spend the day making sure my study is tidy and I've dealt with all the paperwork that's accumulated recently. 

The question is will I be bored by Wednesday or will have paint in my hair and newly decorated bathroom!

Planning the sabbatical

Having been asked by a number of people, most recently Scott via a comment on a recent post, what I'm going to do with my sabbatical, it really does sound like a good idea to have a plan. If only to have something to say every time I get asked the question. 

The first thing I will do is rest. Rest and work out. I actually quite like going to the gym, and although I'm not exactly a picture of health, the gym is a place where I get away from stuff. And it's good to get away. So I'll spend more time at the gym and more time walking. 

If the weather improves I hope to walk at least 10 maybe 20 miles each week. I have a favourite restaurant down by the river about 6 miles from home. It's a nice walk there and back, and there are a couple of different routes I can take. I might have a go at a longer walk. The one I'd really like to do locally is the Ouse Valley. From start to finish it's about 150 miles I think, so I don't suppose that will get done from end to end, but I might have a go at a section or two.

For those of you who feel faint at the thought of walking to this degree, don't worry. My knees and feet tend to ache after 12 miles and I can't realistically do more than 10 miles a day if I want to walk every day. And believe me, once you get into a rhythm, 10 miles isn't that far. Trust me, I'm a walker!

Between walks I hope to build two pieces of simple furniture. The blanket box in the bedroom is falling apart and I think I'll make a new one. Woodwork was my escape at school from chemistry and maths and biology etc. It was something I loved to do and would, if  I had the space, have a workshop in which to potter about and make things. It's also a good discipline for slowing down. There's no substitute for precision and care if you want to make something decent.

The second bit of furniture is more adventurous. I want to build a wardrobe with a couple of drawers in it, for the guest room. I've actually had quite a lot of fun doing the drawings for these things. It must be around 35 years since I did a proper technical style of drawing for a piece of furniture.

Having rested, walked, worked out and become a master craftsman(!) I'll turn my attention to reflecting on ministry. I know it sounds a bit "spiritual" but I want to learn how to spend time with God again. Ministry is both consuming and demanding. It's so easy to lose sight of one's own relationship with God when you spend most of your time fixing other people's. Ministry dries you out, a sabbatical gives you the time to soak up God's grace and love again.

I've also been toying with the idea of writing something about ministry and organisation. As someone who is constantly battling the indiscipline of a disorganised life, I've been working hard to be better organised. The last year has seen some marked improvements and, while there is still so much to learn, it might be helpful to write down some of the lessons.

I have no doubt that some of these things won't get done. I'm not prepared to sacrifice having a rest simply to write a book. So priorities will need to be set. The last thing I want to do is to arrive at August 31st feeling like I've not done anything and wasted three whole months of opportunity.