Probably a good idea, but mock with caution

Christians welcome Atheist London bus campaign

So reads the banner headline for an article on Christiantoday's website. 

Whilst it's good to see Christians taking a positive and dare one say humorous view of the proposed campaign, I fear that we are in danger of going over the top. The more we ridicule atheism, and who doesn't find humour in the proposed wording that  there "probably" isn't a God as if even the atheist can't be sure, the more likely we are to alienate them from meaningful discussion.

Personally it looks to me like a great opportunity, in the right circumstances, to actually ask people what they think. I just hope we don't add fuel to the fire by getting drawn into some great debate and, heaven forbid, a series of special prayer meetings to pray against the campaign. Some of us remember the calls for prayer about the EU and the beast!

Simon Barrow suggests that the campaign slogan: "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life" is the unbelievers equivalent of "God may very well exist. Now have a nice day" in case anyone is short of an idea for an answer or an alternative publicity campaign.

Handling Criticism

In the most recent edition of The Pastor's Coach newsletter, Dan Reiland makes the following observations about handling criticism.

Absorb criticism with grace: Taking criticism comes with the territory of leadership, how you receive it is a choice you make. He says: "... it takes less energy to absorb it than it does to fight it."

Learn from criticism and take action when you can: First listen for the obvious, second look for patterns to see if an urgent or slower reponse is necessary.

Ignore criticism when you need to: It's important to discern if it's a productive criticism or not. If not, ignore it. There is one proviso here, if the criticism is ongoing you will need to address the one doing the criticising.

Teach those who criticise when you have the opportunity: If you handle criticism well you can teach others.

The nature of criticism can be extremely draining, but if you receive it with grace, stay focused on the productive criticism, and ignore the rest, criticism can be a good thing and a blessing in disguise.

You can subscribe to the newsletter at the Injoy website.

What's wrong with evangelicals?

I'm an evangelical. I'm committed to an evangelical understanding of the Bible. I'm committed to an evangelical expression of faith. I'm committed to an evangelical approach to evangelism.

And I'm worried about evangelicals.

I'm worried because I can't help thinking that the historical commitment of evangelicals to biblical teaching and authority is turning us into a movement so quick to criticise each other that we are in danger of pushing the self-destruct button. The problem is that we don't seem to be able to engage in constructive dialogue mixed with genuine encouragement of each other to pursue God's highest calling for our churches and the world we are so desperate to reach.

What has caused this concern to surface in me? Recently I stumbled upon a website that appeared almost to revel in what the author saw as an admission by Bill Hybels that Willow Creek has failed in the process of disciple-making. Their recent major survey of the effectiveness of their ministries was one of the bravest investments I think I've ever seen a church make. That they were willing to share the results on a wider scale was also incredibly brave. And what is more, I don't think their survey discovered anything many of us in ministry were not either aware of or afraid of.

The simple truth is that programmes only help when someone commits to the programme. I know, I go to the gym, I have a plan, I have a personal trainer. But if I only trained when the trainer was there I wouldn't get very far. I need to develop consistent habits for myself.

Anyway, that's not the point of this post. My point is this: I don't necessarily agree with everything I see in the evangelical church. I don't always agree with everything I hear other evangelical leaders say. But if we are all trying to serve God and reach or communities I want to encourage that.

And as for Willow, well I hope they continue to do what they do best. I hope they continue to ask tough question because I actually think they are one of the few expressions of church who will actually take seriously what they discover about their effectiveness and seek to do something about it.

Criticism

A long while now I put down in a post some thoughts about handling criticism. It's a sensitive area of all our lives and something we all have to deal with at some time. I guess the only choice we get is how we handle criticism.

Anyway, I came across some helpful insights made by Rick Warren on the Acts29 blog. He said:

Turn your critics into coaches by hearing what they are saying and humbly considering if there is any truth in their criticisms to learn from. Never engage the critics on their terms because it only escalates the conflict and is not productive. Be very careful with firing off emails or leaving voicemails and responding out of anger in a way that you will later regret. Shout louder than your critics to define yourself and do not allow them to define you.

All very good advice.

Observations

I wonder what things you notice that no one else sees? Maybe it's not so much that they don't see them, it's just that it doesn't bother them like it bothers you.

If you asked folk at Cotton End Baptist Church what bothers me, they'd probably mention the chairs! I'm not obsessive, but I do like them to be right, or at the very least look fairly neat and tidy. Other people of course are less worried and just stick the chairs roughly where they think they remember them being. And that sentence in itself probably tells you a lot about how I like to see them!

I guess there are things about me that people see that I don't see. And when they point them out, as some are apt to do, it can be quite painful to hear. How you handle such moments is truly a measure of one's maturity.

This train of thought was triggered by something I saw this morning in today's post. My denomination has an annual assembly around May time each year, and today the early publicity for it dropped on the door mat. Inside the envelope was a glossy flyer all about next year's event. So what caught my eye, and maybe only my eye? On the inside page there's a photograph of the worship band leading a song during a past event. The photograph is a good photograph, nicely composed from a good angle. And it's printed the wrong way around. It's a mirror image of the real thing. How do I know this? The first clue was that both guitar players are left-handed according to the picture. I notice this because I'm a left-handed guitar player and I thought 'how odd, two lefties on one platform'. Then I realised that the writing on the amplifier was in fact backwards (it's a Marshall amp by the look of it, and the M is on the wrong end). Thirdly I realised that the cello player had the cello over the wrong shoulder.

Now none of this is really important. I guess graphic designers invert pictures all the time and no one really notices. It's not the key feature of the brochure, it's just an illustration of how sometimes we notice things that others might not notice. to us they become important, to the other people around us, they are less important. And it just got me thinking about the whole subject of spotting the difference between the important things and the less important. Seeing a thing is one thing, understanding how important it is is quite another.

Taking it on the chin

One of the key leadership skills that I don't hear many people talk about is how to handle criticism. It's bound to come your way from time to time, and how you deal with it is key to moving forward. So here are some of my random rules for dealing with criticism.

1. It hurts. Criticism always hurts. Recognising that it hurts helps me to process it more objectively. I think that's because I know it's okay to hurt but it's not okay to lash out and strike back or to dwell on it or let it fester.

2. Don't make snap responses. I remember a good friend of mine saying that once you're in ministry, you're in the firing line. The best thing, he said, was not to respond by justifying yourself. That just produces an argument. In fact make your first response a thank you for the other person's courage to be honest and their care for you in bringing the matter to your attention. You'll be surprised at how often that calms the storm.

3. Reflect. Often, no matter how poorly handled and presented, there is a seed of truth in the criticism. The things I most often get criticised about usually reflect an area of my character, ministry or life that needs addressing. Not necessarily in the way the purveyor of the criticism thinks, but in some way. Sometimes they are so wide of the mark, that there is no basis for the criticism. If, after reflecting, I feel that way, I try and check out my conclusions with someone I trust. Rule 4 kicks in.

4. Always have someone who can help you process the big stuff. Actually processing the little stuff can need help too, because unprocessed or processed badly just makes it big stuff sooner or later.

5. Discern the voice behind the criticism. My friend Andy White blogged about working alone and the issues surrounding the inner voice of doom. Discerning the root of the voice of criticism is vital to healthy processing. When criticism comes it often arouses feelings of low self-worth after you've finished being angry. (If you're only ever angry about criticism see rule 3!) The inner voice begins to tell you that you have no value, that you're not cut out for leadership, that God can't possible use you etc. etc. It's simply not true. I'm doing what I do because God has called me and gifted me to do it. I just don't do it the way some people want it done. Sometimes that's my fault because I get things wrong, I focus on the wrong thing and I'm not too hot on organising myself. But if I'm anybody's failure then I'm God's failure and I know he still loves me even.

6. Be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up, there are plenty of people out there in the wider world who would gladly do that for you, and they'd probably do a better job anyway.

7. If the first 6 rules haven't worked, go buy yourself a cup of your favourite coffee, or in my case fruit smoothie, and put the criticism to one side until you're in better shape to deal with it all.

Now, where are my car keys....