Countdown continues

Into the final week of ministry before my sabbatical starts. Yesterday was my last celebration service for 13 weeks. Last time I went on sabbatical I can't say it was difficult to go. Things had been hard and I don't remember preaching or leading worship at all in the run up to the break. This time is very different. I feel a different stress as I let go of everything.

The plan is still very fluid. I need to work out the autumn plan, which would be great to have done by the weekend. I have a couple of meetings and funeral and a wedding to do before Sunday (the first official day of the sabbatical). I think I might spend the first part of next week writing down everything that I might do and then begin to pick off the one's I feel drawn to think about. Whereas last time I was caught between wondering if I was going to consider staying in ministry or do something else, this time I know I'm coming back. 

I want, therefore, to take the time to reflect on how I do ministry, what it means to me, what my vision is, and most important of all, ask God if I'm actually doing the ministry he wants me to do. When my previous contract was drawing to a close I had various people telling me how I needed to "sell myself". It was almost as if I needed to convince the church that I was worth keeping. But I've never been big on doing that. I suspect in the secular world, or even in the world of Christian organisations, I probably don't interview well. 

Given that I've not been interviewed for a job for a very long time, things have probably changed. But I never could get the hang of telling people why I was just the right person for the job. I always felt that wasn't my decision to make. All I could do was tell the truth and be myself. 

When it comes to ministry, I'm much more interested in a sense of call than anything else. I know there needs to be a good fit. When I came to Cotton End I showed the church profile to a friend of mine. After he read it, he looked at me and asked, "Did you write that?" The fit, it seems, was rather good!

I suppose the question to ask is whether that fit remains good after seven years of ministry. I still feel there is so much that God is revealing to us that it's hard to put it all on hold for three months, but then again, God has his timescales. My hope is that after the sabbatical, we'll all be in better shape to push forward.

Perhaps, if you're the praying kind, you will pray for the church as they live without me and for me as I live without them.