The narcissism of social media

Well now, here's an interesting thing!


Source: BestComputerScienceSchools.net

You don't have to be a social scientist or psychology student to notice how self-centred social media can be. Just think about the number of times you see a " post this" message on Facebook. Even worse are those messages that suggest you somehow don't care about an issue because you choose not to repost some bit of social media chain mail.

There is sometimes also a run of people posting something along the lines of a request to write something on their timeline just to let them know you've read their status update. It's as if they are seeking assurance that they still exist and the only affirmation of that comes through being noticed on the internet.

I often refrain from commenting on status updates, sometimes because the only comment I want to make is grammatical! The other reason is more subtle in some ways. While I like to know what people are doing, what they've discovered or what they are reading, even sometimes what they've found funny or inspiring, it should be enough that they share that with me. It ought not to need my response in order to validate the worth of their sharing. I blog, for example, as a process of thinking out loud about stuff. If I did only on the basis that people read what I write, then I'd have stopped long ago. I don't stop thinking because you don't read or comment on what I write. I am at least not that preoccupied with self.

It also has to be said that when someone shares that they are looking forward to taking part in the donkey procession, I'm tempted to ask them which donkey they will be the said procession!

I think social media has real value in connecting us and sharing stories and news, but if we treat it as a way to validate ourselves, then we truly will become increasingly narcissistic. And where, I wonder, might that lead us?

Just to let you know: I haven't checked this for typing errors or grammatical mistakes and I don't really want to know if I've made any unless they substantially alter the intended meaning! Just in case you were struggling to sleep wondering if I knew about the misplaced comma or dropped capitalisation!

The Fear of not Being Heard!

Just a quick meandering thought keep passing through my brain. We seem to be the best connected society in history, what with mobile devices, high speed internet and social media at every turn, and yet we are apparently the most lonely, superficial and fragile generation too. Or so it appears.

You see, the thing I've noticed is the increasing number of people who post queries on their social networks asking if anyone is reading what they write. Retweet this or repost this or do something just to let me know that I still exist in your world. We crave attention and yet at the same abhor contact! Are we so insecure that need constant affirmation that we matter to other people in order to know that we matter at all?

I'm just as bad, before you start thinking this is about you. (I do hope that doesn't damage your self-esteem by the way!) I check the stats for visits to my blog and wonder if anyone reads it because there are so few comments. But then again, I don't write to be read, I write to write. I write to process stuff that  lurks in the recesses of my mind. Sometimes that resonates enough with someone else that they decide to interact with me. Great.

I like social media because it gives me a snap shot of what is going on in the world of others and the world at large beyond my door. Sometimes it sparks a thought-trail or an investigation. Sometimes it provoked a comment, but most of the time it's just nice to see the life is being lived in a wonderfully diverse way by lots of people I know, once knew, still know and maybe one day will get to know.

So please, don't retweet, repost, comment or interact unless you want to. I'm quite happy dropping my thoughts and ideas and information into the social ocean for anyone to pick up and explore. Or, in fact none of that matter!

And by the way, that means that just because I don't comment, post or otherwise communicate with you, that doesn't mean I don't read your news, blog, Facebook status, Twitter updates, Christmas newsletter or emails!

Facebook privacy crisis

Here's a blog post about why we should consider leaving Facebook.

As many users will know, Facebook has changed much of its terms and conditions, most notably in the area of privacy. I was quite amazed to see how much. It would seem that the only things that you can now keep private are you birthday and contact information.

This may or may not be a problem to you if you use Facebook. On the other hand it does raise a question about who sees your data and how do you decide who can see it rather than letting the company decide that for you.

At the moment I don't particularly feel under threat, but given how many young people use Facebook, maybe we should be a little more vigilant about the erosion of privacy in social networking.