The Pain and the Promise

An inspirational friend has resurfaced with his blog and posted a really challenging piece about his inspiration and frustration here. I share some of his frustrations, and I guess at times I am the source of them too as a leader in a local church. I have, throughout my ministry, sought to follow a different path. I've tried to inspire people to see church differently, to see mission and ministry differently. I have sought to find new ways of expressing what we've always maintained we believe-that church is a team thing, not a one-person band.

And yet to a large extent it still is just that, and I feel a great sense of failure. It's still about doing the same things we've done for years and wondering why they still aren't working.

I read Andy's post and felt my heart heave and break and crack and cry and yearn. Will we ever get it? There are hundreds, probably thousands of books about the church, but what is actually changing? Everything must change if we are going to become the church that God is calling us to be. I wish I knew more clearly what that was. Perhaps if I knew it more clearly I could pursue it more vigourously.

And this is not a whinge. It's more the cry of my heart. I long to grasp more fully the vision God has for us. But the closer I get the further away I feel I find myself. It's like the horizon on a good walk. You think it's not far when in fact it's much farther than you think.

Should I give up the pursuit? Should I settle for something that meets the needs but somehow fails to fulfil the potential?

Somewhere, in the deep recesses of my past, I came across a quote that I can't remember verbatim but I remember the sense of it. 

There are two kinds of people, the compliant and the challenging. Compliant people seek to adapt themselves to the world, challenging people seek to adapt the world to themselves. Therefore all progress relies on the challenging people.

The words aren't right, but the sense is.

Perhaps I'm just one of life's awkward, challenging people. Maybe, as long as I don't try to adapt God and his kingdom to me, I can be useful in reshaping and challenging church to adapt to the kingdom. 

So here's to all the mavericks who find themselves living in a world they know should be different, but having to live with the tension of what is and what could be. Remember this:

There is no future in frustration