I can't sleep, but I will sleep

There are times when I blog simply because I need to write. This is one of those times. I don't know what I'm gong to write, but I need to write. 

Actually I need to do something. you see, I can't sleep. I know why I can't sleep, but I can't write about that. At least I can write about, but the Internet is not the place for it. So I'll write about something else instead. 

I've done all the things I usually do when I can't sleep like this. I've prayed. I've prayed quite hard really, but the gnawing feeling hasn't subsided, so I'm sitting at my desk wondering what to do next. Do I simply try and sleep, or do I read or watch a film or do what we're really good at. Worry.

Worry takes such little effort. Just focus on something that makes you anxious and let the worrying begin. Odd really. But there it is. We are a people prone to worry and worry we do.

Of course I can quote Philippians to myself (be anxious about nothing, but in everything...), or Peter (cast all your cares on him because he cares for you). But it is truly easier said than done. 

Perhaps the problem lies in the constant replaying of the worst case scenario in my mind. You know the way it goes. Over and over again you think about how bad it could be and then add a little more darkness to it for good measure. Your mind races. Your brain races. Your pulse races. And here I sit, trying to say nothing about what's worrying me but something to release the worry from me. 

Seems like a good time to pray again:

Lord, I don't expect my worries, my anxieties to disappear just because I've prayed. I know they won't. The things that cause them won't. Over time, these things will be replaced by other things, and in a 1,000 years none of them will be an issue anymore. The truth is that if I didn't worry I probably wouldn't pray.

So walk with please through these troubled thoughts. Calm my heart and my mind. Help me find a heavenly perspective from which to view all that makes me anxious and show me Lord that what worries me most is a concern that you share with me.

Bring to that place of peace that goes beyond my ability to understand but that brings the quiet assurance that you are with me and your love will never fail me.